


Everything Has Changed

by IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus is a Taylor Swift fan, Angst and Fluff and Smut, But mostly fluff, College AU, HEA, Love at First Sight, M/M, Modern AU, Muggle AU, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:20:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis/pseuds/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis
Summary: Gellert has no idea what he's doing... and neither does Albus. At least Elphias seems to have some sense.A Muggle college AU
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Comments: 48
Kudos: 47





	1. Gellert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set on a college campus in the Southeastern U.S.
> 
> If you think that you recognize this... it is based on a one shot that I wrote called Produce Guy – which has been recycled into part of Chapter One and the better part of Chapter Three of this fic.  
> We’ll be alternating between Gellert and Albus’ POV – With occasional guest POVs
> 
> Warning – In the U.S., the age of consent in the majority of states is 16 – including, for instance, the majority of the Southeast, and all of New England. So legally speaking… there’s no underage sexual content in this piece. But – if you are someone who considers anyone under 18 to be underage, then be advised that there are a couple of chapters that contain underage sexual contact – I’ll label those as we go.  
> And I'll provide other warnings as needed.
> 
> Yes, the title of the fic comes from the Taylor Swift song with the same name. This Albus has a Taylor Swift poster in his dorm room. Yes, really.

Chapter One  
Gellert

Gellert did not believe for a minute that anyone actually met in the produce section. He worked in the produce section, and he had never seen it. Mostly, people studiously ignored one another, just as they did in any other public space. Once or twice during his shift, two people who already knew each other would nod at one another, or stop to engage in small talk. But pick-up central? Who had come up with that one?

And so it was a surprise when he noticed the guy over by the tomatoes. He had reddish hair, and he was wearing a dark purple t-shirt which looked great on him and - Gellert should totally not be staring at a customer. But he couldn't help himself. There was something about him.  
Gellert watched him walk over to the lettuces, and reach for a bunch of spinach just as the misters kicked in. Generally, shoppers hated that. They would scowl or recoil. Not this guy. He smiled the biggest smile, as if he could not have had better luck than to have been there at that exact moment. Then he noticed Gellert looking at him, and he smiled as if he were holding in a laugh. “Beautiful weather we’re having, isn’t it?”

Gellert’s eyes got big. This hot customer was talking to him and he just froze – he couldn’t say a word. Usually Gellert had a reply for everything. Banter with the moms was a specialty. But this time – nothing.  
The guy’s smile faded a bit, as if he were unsure if he had been too friendly. And then he waved, said, “See ya!” and walked away.

Gellert abandoned the apple boxes, and walked into the back, to the employee bathroom. Why hadn’t he said anything?  
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!”  
He couldn’t shout without drawing attention, so the words came out in a whisper growl, while he kicked the wall. Not as hard as he wanted to – Aunt Bathilda would be pissed if he broke another toe.

When he had calmed down a little, Gellert realized that he would be feeling just as stupid if he had had a witty reply for Mr. Spinach. Right now, he was worried that he’d missed an opportunity. But in a world where he had not frozen, he’d have discovered that he’d imagined an opportunity where there wasn’t one.  
Right. Not a missed opportunity. That guy was not flirting – he was just friendly – too happy not to share the mood, probably. Gellert tried to remember the last time he had felt that way. He’d been six, maybe? Maybe.

Well, that was enough sulking. He was on the clock, and falling apart over a four minute encounter was not an option. He washed his hands and stepped out. Time to finish restocking the apples. Then he should check the sell by dates on the bagged salads. Only two more hours until he could go home.

///////

Gellert was standing in the doorway of the pantry looking for something worth eating when a hand landed on his shoulder. He jumped.  
“It’s just me, Gellert,” said his Aunt Bathilda.  
Well yes, obviously, but that didn’t make it more comfortable for her to come up behind him silently like that. It wasn’t about _her_.  
“Hey, Aunt Bathilda.”  
Maybe he should be looking in the fridge. Nothing seemed right. 

“How was work?”  
I did not meet the most intriguing guy ever, because I was too overwhelmed to speak.  
“Ok.”  
Pretzels would be acceptable. Better than nothing, anyway. He would have preferred tortilla chips, but Aunt Bathilda had some idea that corn made people depressed. And by ‘people’ she meant Gellert. Sugar was also forbidden. And caffeine.  
He grabbed the bag of pretzels and turned around.  
“I’m going to go upstairs and practice.”

Aunt Bathilda sighed. “You spend a lot of time up there.”  
“I’m not going to get better sitting around thinking about it.”  
“You’re already quite good...”  
Were they going to have this conversation every day? Apparently so.  
“ _Because_ I spend so much time in my room practicing.”  
“Have you already –“  
“Mowed the grass, taken out the trash, finished my calculus, and written the paper you assigned me.”  
“Which topic did you choose?”  
“The end of the Cold War – my thesis is –“  
“Don’t tell me – reading it fresh is half the fun.” She smiled at him. “Alright then, it sounds like there’s nothing more I can suggest to keep you out of that cave. Except that it is a nice day, so if you want some fresh air, you could always practice on the screen porch. I promise not to come out and bother you.”  
“I’ll consider it.”

Gellert trotted up the stairs with the bag of pretzels. He closed the door to his bedroom behind him and flopped onto his bed. He looked up at the ceiling. Why was he still thinking about that guy? ‘Beautiful weather we’re having...’ Would he have spoken that way to anyone who had happened to be standing there? Impossible to know, but Gellert couldn’t stop wondering.  
His delight had seemed so – uncomplicated. Gellert wondered if anyone would ever look at him like that customer had looked when the misters came on. He tried to imagine him – Mr. Spinach – looking at him like that, but he couldn’t quite manage it. 

Would he come back to the store? Gellert wasn’t sure whether he hoped that he would or not. Mostly Gellert hoped he would not – that one interaction had been _almost_ perfect. Gellert could imagine saying something clever to him, and them somehow ending up in his bedroom together (the details were fuzzy), and – Gellert lifted up his head to confirm that he had locked the door to his bedroom. Yes.  
Gellert shucked off his pants. There was no way that this crush was going to result in anything tangible – but at least it was giving him some new material.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been rewriting Produce Guy almost since I posted it. I wanted a better transition between the first part and the longer second part... but mainly I had several ideas / images in my head for these two characters that I didn't end up putting in the one shot. So... here we are.
> 
> This is 100% pre-written. My intention is to post chapters 1 and 2 tonight, chapters 3 and 4 Saturday, and then 1 chapter every day after that. We'll see how it goes. 
> 
> For those of you following The Greater Good, I'll be posting a new chapter on Tuesday.


	2. Albus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Albus gives his perspective on the events of Chapter One - and we meet Elphias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Albus and Gellert may seem a bit OOC, but trying to stay true to certain elements of canon (eg - Gellert being expelled) while putting them in a modern, non-magical setting shifted some things dramatically.
> 
> Though admittedly making Albus a relatively promiscuous jock was not necessary. That was just for fun.

Chapter Two  
Albus

Elphias dropped his duffel on the floor and flung himself onto his bed with a loud sigh. Albus didn’t so much as twitch. He was finishing up some homework that he had left too long.  
But Elphias demanded attention. He stood up, cleared his throat, near shouted, “I _said_..,” picked up and dropped back down his duffel bag, and then fell into his bed with a crash. Then he tossed his shoe at Albus for good measure.  
It hit Albus in the side. “Ouch! Fuck you, Elphias.”  
“That was supposed to hit your chair,” Elphias said, not so much apologizing as dodging blame.

Albus rubbed his eyes. He could probably use a break anyway. He turned around.  
“Then I guess it is a good thing we don’t play baseball.”  
“I’d say my shoe is shaped more like a football.”  
“Yes, naturally. That’s the thing to latch onto here. Well, welcome home and all that. How was your weekend, etc.”  
“Largely a waste. Except that Grandma sent cookies.”

Cookies!  
“You are the best roommate in all the world. Oatmeal raisin?”  
Oatmeal raisin had never been a particular favorite of Albus’ – until he had had Elphias’ grandmother’s cookies. They were soft and melty – but with added texture from finely chopped walnuts, and the raisins were soft, and the way they smelled...

“Better than that – she sent a container of oatmeal raisin just for you. She was very flattered by your thank you note, you big nerd.”  
“I believe that I am the one receiving cookies from someone else’s grandmother, so – you might rather see me as a walking advertisement for the power of thank you notes.”  
Elphias shook his head in mock exasperation. “Yeah, ok. Here are your cookies.”

Albus took the plastic container from Elphias, opened it, and inhaled. So good. Then he closed it.  
Elphias looked astonished. “You are not eating one right away?”  
“No – I am,” said Albus, standing and walking over to the mini fridge. “I just – where is that mug?”  
“Ah,” said Elphias. “Desk? Right where you were a minute ago?”  
“Right,” said Albus. He went back to the desk to retrieve the mug. He looked into the mug, shook it upside down, sniffed it. “Right, that seems fine.” 

Albus pulled the milk out of the mini fridge, poured some into his mug, sat back down, and opened his box of cookies.  
“You want one?” he asked, waving the container at Elphias.  
“Dude. She’s my grandmother. I have tons without even having to write a thank you note. And I had far too many this weekend – I’m good.”  
Albus nodded, his mouth full of cookie.

“So,” said Elphias, “How was your weekend? What did I miss?”  
Albus drank some milk to wash down his cookie.  
“I,” he said portentously, “met the man I am going to marry.”  
Elphias tried to suppress his smile.  
Albus knew what that meant. Elphias thought that Albus needed a fond and dismissive pat on the head. That Albus couldn’t possibly be serious about these feelings.  
“ _Man_ , is it? How much older is he than you, then?”  
“Boy, then.”  
“And – that just sounds wrong.”

“What do you want from me?! Gah! Why do I even talk to you?!”  
“Fine, fine. I’ll have mercy on you. Where did you meet this male person who is absolutely the perfect age for you?”  
“At the grocery store.”  
“The grocery store. Let me guess. Produce section?”  
Yes, the produce section. But – 

“No, don’t tell me... You were reaching for an eggplant, he was reaching for the same eggplant, your hands touched...”  
“How did that eggplant emoji even become a thing? An eggplant is shaped like a uterus, if anything...”  
“It’s about the shape of _the emoji_ , Albus. Not the actual vegetable. Fruit. Vegetable.”  
“... and for relative firmness and overall shape, one might rather think a cucumber...”  
“The emoji version of the cucumber is all sliced up. Very off-putting.”  
Albus and Elphias grimaced in unison.

“So ok. You were definitely not buying an eggplant. Probably smoothie ingredients, right? And you – met this guy somehow. And his name is - ?”  
Albus didn’t answer.  
“Albus. You are going to marry him – but you don’t know his name?”  
“ _Yet_ – I don’t know his name _yet_.”  
“What do you know about him?”

“He works there...”  
“Not a student, then.”  
“Not necessarily... and he’s gorgeous.”  
“Naturally.”  
“No – I mean – it’s not just his body, or his face, or his hair – “  
Elphias laughed, “or his ass, or his legs... I get it. A perfect specimen, but that’s not the point.”

Albus sighed. Elphias seemed to think he was some kind of player just because he had picked up five... ten... okay, fourteen guys so far this year. Fourteen wasn’t a lot, was it? That was less than two a month.  
“I’m not looking to fuck him, Elphias. I’m looking to spend the rest of my life with him.”  
“Fucking.”  
“Yes, fine. I imagine there would be fucking. But not just that. I want to – to know why he smiles. He has this almost hidden smile, like he’s buried his happy thoughts and takes them out only in private, but he might just tell you if you are patient enough. And he has another smile, a mischievous smile – but I only saw that one come out once – someone took that smile away from him, I think, and I want to help him find it again.  
“I want to know what he thinks about when he stares past nothing with an intense look on his face. I want to know what he cares about, and where he’s from, and I want to know what it feels like to hold him and run my fingers through his hair, and I want to just – I don’t know what I want to do, Elphias. I’ve never done this before. I just – want more, ok? And I can admit that it doesn’t hurt that he has a fantastic build and cheekbones to die for...”  
Elphias rolled his eyes.

“Ok, yes, I agree, I’m a shallow person, blah blah blah. ‘If he weren’t so attractive would you have noticed him?’ Fine, maybe not. But that would have been tragic, because ultimately it is about who he is _as a person_.”  
“Which you could tell without so much as asking his name.”  
Albus growled in frustration.  
“Elphias, listen. There was this little girl, maybe, I don’t know, 3 years old? And she was about to completely lose it, and her mom was trying to just get her grocery shopping done before there was some major explosion, and he – the guy who works in the produce department? – he made eye contact with the little girl, made a ridiculous face, and then he picked up three lemons, and began juggling them for her…”

“I see. So, it started off with you just wanting to fuck him, but then he starts juggling for a kid, and you move straight to marriage.”  
That was uncomfortably close to the truth. Though Elphias had missed the brief moment when he told himself that the guy was completely off limits because of the look on his face right after Albus spoke to him. Albus hadn’t been able to read his expression, which was unusual. Which made Albus more interested than he ought to be, especially when he could not tell if the guy was much too interested or not interested at all. Albus had been intrigued, and intrigued was dangerous.

“It wasn’t about the juggling, Elphias. There was something about his expression – he was free, playful with her in a way that he wasn’t with grownups. I want to see him open up, be like that more often.”  
To be like that with me.  
“He kept that little girl entertained for ages, smiling that mischievous smile the whole time, until her mom had gotten all her produce and baked goods – and wine, God bless her – I’d need a drink too after the shrieks that kid had been emitting – and just before the little girl was wheeled away, he gave a bow, and then booped her lightly on the nose with a lemon. It was – amazing.”  
“Albus. How long were you stalking this guy through the produce section?”  
Clearly Elphias did not appreciate what Albus was trying to say. This man was _flawless_. It did not matter what Albus had felt compelled to do in order to confirm that fact. 

“I did not _stalk him_ Elphias. I merely bought several more kinds of fruit than I was intending. And I made one last swing through that side of the store after I had finished the rest of my shopping. You know, hovered near the baked goods?”  
“Dammit, Albus. You can’t just –“  
“I wasn’t! I mean… it’s not like I went back to the store this morning and carefully examined each package of strawberries while waiting to see if he would appear.”  
Elphias narrowed his eyes at his friend. “That was remarkably specific, Albus.”  
“That is, it’s not like he was there this morning when I went. To be accurate.”  
Which was why there were now two pints of strawberries sitting in the fridge. Did Elphias eat strawberries?

Elphias put his head in his hands.  
“You, Albus, are giving me a headache. Did you even say one word to the future Mr. Dumbledore?”  
“Umm... yes?” Albus counted on his fingers. “Six words, I think.”  
Elphias threw his other shoe at Albus – it clipped his shin.  
“Ouch!”  
“That one hit exactly where it was meant to. You have to speak more than six words to him, Albus. Obviously. I hate to encourage this madness, but in the interest of me not having to hear about mystery stockboy every night, I think that you need to go back to the grocery store. _And speak to him_. Just lurking around pining does not count.”

“I can’t! What if he’s not gay! For starters...”  
What if he _is_ interested? What if we totally destroy one another?  
“Well, I suppose that would be good information to have before marrying him.”  
“You don’t understand –“  
“You are right – _I don’t understand_ what the problem is, Albus. You haven’t been shy about pursuing a guy you wanted before.”  
Yes, but this was not just any guy. 

Albus dipped back into his cookies without answering. He was just finishing his third when Elphias noticed.  
“Hey! Slow down there. What would Coach say?”  
“Carb loading?”  
“Carb loading for what? There are no games until August, and you know it.”  
“Umm – I could have a late growth spurt coming on...”  
“You wish. Whoever this guy is, he is not worth stress eating over.”  
“He most certainly is. Did I tell you he has the posture of a dancer?”  
“You have now. And that is the last I want to hear about him today.”  
“So if we’re still awake at midnight?”

“Albus. Homework?”  
“Right, yes, homework.”  
Albus tossed his container of cookies on his bed and turned back to his desk.  
“Good to have you back, Elphias. With or without cookies.”  
“Sure, Albus. Good to be back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't usually write multiple POV fics. But I've had fun with it this time :)


	3. Gellert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it. I do not have the patience to wait until tomorrow to post.
> 
> This chapter has a great deal of content pulled directly from Produce Guy… but it has changed a good bit too. But I still like the original beginning note from that fic:  
> “Just because Gellert is dead sexy does not mean he necessarily has a lot of experience. Or any...”

Chapter 3  
Gellert

Aunt Bathilda had been insistent. “Get outside – it is a beautiful morning! It might be one of the last beautiful days before October!” It might be one of the last _tolerable_ days before October. Why did she have to live so far south? But she did, and so he did, and so she was right – he may as well ‘enjoy the fresh air’ or sunshine or whatever.

So now Gellert was walking on the trail that looped around the arboretum, listening to his ‘songs I want to learn to play’ playlist. It was pretty gratifying – he had already mastered more of them than he had realized. His first thought was, ‘I need to add some new songs to the list.’ His second thought was, ‘and I need to work out some variations on the riffs I already know.’  
And his third thought? ‘Holy fuck – hot guy at twelve o’clock.’  
His fourth, panicked thought was, ‘Shit shit shit. I know him.’

There was a pack of maybe a dozen college guys running towards him, and there, near the front, chattering away to a friend like he wasn’t exerting himself at all, was the guy from the produce section. And he didn’t have a shirt on, which was entirely unfair. He was shiny with sweat – built, but not in an absurd way, more subtle – with broad shoulders and muscular arms and – oh no – he had totally just caught Gellert checking him out. He met Gellert’s eyes with a grin and a wink – and then, with a stampede of feet on the sand path, he was gone.

Would they come back around? Hopefully – not? It had seemed like that guy actually liked that Gellert was staring at him… but it seemed just as likely that he was just fucking with him. Gellert had had enough of straight guys thinking it was funny to fuck with him. If that hadn’t been such a problem at school, he would not be living with Aunt Bathilda now. Well, that and…  
Gellert shook off these thoughts, returning to the problem of Mr. Spinach. He was a student, then. Thank God the semester was almost over – he wouldn’t be seeing him around for almost three months. Maybe he’d have forgotten about Gellert by then. 

Gellert had made it through two more songs when someone tapped him on his shoulder. Gellert flinched and his chest tightened. How could he have been so reckless? No more walking with his earbuds in – anyone might come up behind him.  
He turned around – Mr. Spinach. Fuck. At least his shirt was back on. Gellert took out his earbuds.  
“Hey.”  
“Hey – sorry I startled you.”  
Not so much startled as triggered, but fine.

“It’s – ok.”  
“Can I walk with you a bit?”  
“Are you done running then?”  
“What? Oh, yeah. We just do one lap in the off season. Last one together this year. So. Can I? Walk with you?”  
“Sure, whatever.”

The guy looked a little hurt. Fuck. Right. Reengage.  
Gellert quickly added, “I’d like the company. I don’t know many people here, really.”  
Now the guy looked surprised. “Oh! You’re – not a student?”  
Shit. That had not been the right thing to say, either.  
“No, not exactly. I’m – just finishing up my senior year, but I’m being homeschooled by my Aunt Bathilda.”  
“No way. Is your aunt Professor Bagshot? I haven’t had her yet, but I read her biography of Emma Goldman – it was wild! I can’t believe – wow!”

Gellert rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Aunt Bathilda’s pretty - interesting. My name’s Gellert.”

“I’m Albus. Nice to meet you, Gellert! But – we’re still not walking, and my muscles are freezing up. So I’m going to need to stretch before we get started.”  
Gellert was definitely not going to be able to handle watching Albus stretch.  
Gellert blushed. “Um – ok?”

Albus pushed one foot against the edge of a nearby bench. He looked over his shoulder at Gellert and grinned. “And if you want to stare at me while I do it, I won’t mind. I’ve been told I have a nice ass.”  
“And legs,” Gellert added, before he could stop himself.  
“Oh yeah? Good to know my body is making up for what is lacking in my personality.”  
“No – I mean – I didn’t...”  
“Relax, Gellert. I’m joking.”  
Oh. Gellert’s face fell. Of course he was. 

“Right, so. I’ll see you around then.” Or not.  
Albus trotted after him. “Whoa. Hey –“ He put his hand on Gellert’s shoulder, and Gellert shrugged it off.  
“Don’t. Touch. Me.”  
Albus ran around in front of Gellert, but Gellert didn’t stop moving, so Albus started trotting backwards.  
“What was it? What did I do?”  
What was this guy’s problem?  
“You sure are working hard for a joke.”

“I didn’t mean – shit, Gellert. The joke was the bit about my personality. Not about – umm – inviting you to look at… I mean – fuck, this is hard. Why is this so hard? I’m not – God! Will you stand still please?”  
Gellert rolled his eyes, came to a halt, crossed his arms against his chest, and looked defiantly at Albus.  
“I’ve been thinking about you since I saw you in the grocery store, ok?”  
Him too? Was it really possible that – Albus actually found him attractive?  
“And I’ve been feeling like an idiot for thinking about you, when you were probably not even interested. So when I saw you on the trail today, and it looked like you might be interested after all, I got – nervous I guess –“  
“Nervous,” Albus broke off and muttered. “What the fuck is the matter with me? I can't believe I told him I had a nice ass.”  
Then he lifted his voice back up to a normal volume and resumed, “And that is why I made that stupid joke, like some sort of amateur...”  
“Maybe it’s not you. Maybe I’m a hyper-sensitive prick,” Gellert conceded.  
Albus laughed. “Maybe it’s both. Maybe I have a lousy sense of humor and you’re a prick. Let’s – keep walking together and find out?”  
Gellert took a deep breath. He smiled tentatively and nodded, and they continued on, Albus talking nearly nonstop.

By the end of their walk, Gellert had learned that Albus was a scholarship student, studying electrical engineering – he wanted to work on solar panel design. He was a freshman from up north, he was on the soccer team, and he was staying over the summer and taking summer classes, because his parents had died and he had no home to return to.  
Albus seemed very sure of his attraction to Gellert. Which was hard for Gellert to understand, since no one had been interested in him before. 

“That seems completely impossible to me. Either you are oblivious, or you have never met a gay man before.”  
“I don’t know about oblivious. Maybe.” Gellert kept his eyes on the path and tried to figure out what exactly to say.  
“But never met a gay person? That’s pretty accurate. I’m from a small farming town. It was – not like here. At all. Anyway. It wasn’t safe to be – different in any way? I’m not sure I want to talk about it too much. Just – things happened, and I got suspended from school early junior year, and I – didn’t go back. Which got me expelled, ironically. Like, ‘Please, no – don’t throw me in the brier patch!’ My parents were over it, so they sent me to Aunt Bathilda, and she said I was too smart to drop out of high school, and I said I wasn’t going back. So – homeschooling. But I have heard that college is – different, so. We’ll see.”

“So, if you met gay people, they were not saying.”  
“That, or every other gay person had already left town, like I did.”  
“Sure, I guess that’s possible.” Albus rubbed the back of his neck. “God – no wonder you jumped to the conclusion that I was toying with you – that’s happened to you before?”  
Worse. SO much worse.  
“Kind of.”

Albus nodded thoughtfully. They were back at the start of the loop, at the path that led back to the main campus.  
“I – do you have a few more minutes?”  
“Sure – I’m not working today. How about you, though?”  
“Oh, I told my roommate that I was probably going to miss the study session this morning, so, yeah. Want to turn around? There was a bench about 300 yards back.”

Albus and Gellert sat on the bench, and Albus took Gellert’s hand. It felt to Gellert like electricity was shooting from his hand straight to his chest. He felt warmer all over. Was it possible to die of handholding?  
“Is this ok?” asked Albus.  
Fuck yes. More than.  
“Definitely.”

Albus looked down at their hands and was quiet. Gellert decided he didn’t mind the silence as long as Albus didn’t let go.  
“I was – I’ve never – listen, I – Gellert, could we – could I see you again?”  
_Obviously_.  
“You want to –“

“I want to a lot of things. I want – listen, what I want now is to not do anything that is going to make you uncomfortable, and I want you to be – sure of everything we – God, I’m so inarticulate around you!”  
Gellert smiled. “I think you are perfect.” Perfect? God, he sounded like a moron. “I mean – keep going.”

“Ok – I’m – I don’t want to make you uncomfortable...”  
Why was he saying ‘uncomfortable’ again?  
“Too late,” said Gellert, laughing nervously. “But I like you, so –“  
Albus looked up at Gellert and smiled. “You like me?”  
Gellert felt even more nervous than he had before. “Is that ok?”  
“I mean – yes – it’s – I’ve been hoping you would. I like you too.”  
Gellert smiled. He felt like he was going to burst. This was so crazy. He hadn’t known it was possible to feel like this. _Albus liked him_.  
“But see, it’s obvious, given what you said, that you don’t have any experience...” Gellert tensed up, and Albus must have noticed, because he corrected, “or at least, no positive experiences...”  
“No, the first one was accurate – no experience at all – nothing, umm, like that happened back home – it was more along the lines of physical violence.”

“Shit, Gellert. I’m so sorry.”  
“I don’t know. It’s not as bad as what you seem to have been thinking might have happened to me.”  
“No – it still sucks, not to feel safe.”  
Gellert shrugged.  
“Do you want to talk more about that?”  
Please, God, no.  
“Not really.”  
“Ok.” 

Albus waited a bit longer. And Gellert waited too. He was determined to outwait Albus. But he didn’t manage it.  
“Does it bother you? That I don’t have any – umm – experience?”  
Albus’ face tilted up and his eyes met Gellert’s.  
“No! Gellert, that’s not at all what I was trying to say. It’s just – if I'm going to be your first boyfriend -"  
"Are you asking me out, Albus?"  
"I'm - sort of - I mean, yes, definitely yes. But I'm also wanting you to think about it, because I don't want you to say yes only because I’m the first person to show any interest. I don’t want you to be sorry about – anything.”  
Gellert smiled broadly. “You mean when I inevitably sleep with you?”

Albus laughed. “You’re much better at this than me.”  
“I can think of several things that you are probably better at than me. Like this, for instance.”  
Gellert leaned forward and kissed Albus. He pulled away almost right away, startled. Had he really just done that? In public?!  
Albus laid a hand on Gellert’s face. “Are you ok?”  
Not really. Totally panicking, to be honest.  
“Yeah – but – is it ok that we, um – here?”  
“Just kissing? On campus? Yeah, definitely ok. We’re safe here.”  
“Ok, then,” said Gellert, and he leaned forward and kissed Albus again, just pressing his lips to Albus’, tentatively. Albus groaned. 

“You’re sure? I mean, I don’t want to take advantage –“  
“Take advantage, I beg of you.”

Albus drew closer to Gellert, put his arms around him, and kissed him, deepening it this time. Albus’ tongue was in his mouth, and Albus’ hands were in his hair... this was amazing! And now he was starting to get hard, which was – going to be mortifying just as soon as he could bring himself to care about anything but Albus’ mouth and hands. And anyway, maybe no one would notice?  
Gellert’s hand started drifting down Albus’ back...

“Wait,” gasped Albus, taking hold of Gellert’s hand. “We are about ready to cross the line of what we can do out in the open – or what I’m comfortable with here at least. Let’s um – no ass grabbing on the trail, please.”  
“We could walk into the forest and I could grab your ass there,” Gellert suggested with an irrepressible smile.  
Albus bit his lip. “Tempting, but no. I want for us to go slow. I want us to get to savor each step, rather than speeding through it.”

Albus didn’t give Gellert enough time to register his disappointment. Instead he captured Gellert’s mouth again with his own. Gellert ran his tongue along Albus’. Absolutely electric. Yeah, just kissing could work, too.  
“You, Gellert, are a fast learner.”  
Gellert laughed. He felt almost dizzy.  
“Is it - is it always like this?”  
“No, definitely not,” said Albus. Then he corrected himself, “But I think that maybe it will always be like this with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the early things that shaped this fic was some research I did what could get someone expelled from high school in the U.S. these days, and it varies state by state, naturally, but - weirdly, one of the reasons in some states was truancy. Is it just me, or does it seem counterproductive to tell someone they can’t come back to school because they haven’t been coming to school?


	4. Elphias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we get to hear from Albus’ long suffering roommate, Elphias. Who is one of my favorite characters in this fic, tbh 
> 
> Posting this on the same day as Chapter Three, since they take place on the same day.

Chapter Four  
Elphias

“Elphias!”  
“Albus...”  
Elphias looked up from his book at his roommate – he was still in his sweaty running clothes. His eyes were bright, his smile was wide, and he was practically bouncing up on his toes.  
Whatever he’d been up to this morning must have been worth it.

“You missed lunch.”  
“No, I didn’t - I stopped off at the Food Court.”  
Albus never went to the Food Court unless he was with someone.  
Elphias sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.  
“Fine. Tell me about him.”  
“God! Elphias! He is even more amazing than I thought!”  
“Who is?”

“Who?! What do you mean, ‘who?’ The guy from the produce section!”  
That sneaky son of a bitch. All Albus had said was, ‘I’m not going to make it to our study session this morning.’ Of course, Elphias knew that it likely had something to do with sex when Albus went dashing back up the trail the way they came, but –  
“You kept it from me! You see this guy after two weeks of noisy pining, and you don’t even tell me?”  
“If you had said one single word, I would have lost my courage to run after him. Even though I was pretty certain I’d caught him staring.”

“He’s into you then, I take it. So – when do I need to vacate the room?”  
“Jesus, Elphias!”  
“What?!”  
“ _It’s not like that._ ”  
There was no need for him to be so offended. It had always been _like that_ before.  
“Fine, Albus – tell me what it’s like.”

“I’m – I – asked him out?”  
“Great! When? Where are you going?”  
“No, I mean – I asked him out. Not out on a date. Out out.”  
“Out out. You – Albus ‘I’m not interested in a relationship’ Dumbledore – you have a boyfriend.”  
“It would seem so.”  
“And you are? Interested in a relationship?”  
Albus waved his hand dismissively.  
“’Interested in a relationship’ is too general. I’m not interested in _a_ relationship. I feel like I am going to literally _stop breathing_ if I am not in a relationship _with him_.”  
Well, that wasn’t dramatic at all.

“And you are talking about an exclusive, ‘I’m not going to sleep with anyone else’ sort of relationship?”  
“Why would I ever want to sleep with anyone else?”  
Why would he ever... Who was this person, and what had they done with his roommate?  
“You are averaging better than two guys a month, Albus.”  
“No I’m not – less than – I counted.”  
“You counted.”  
“Anyway, I haven’t been with anyone since the grocery store –“

No, not since the grocery store.  
Joking about Albus’ sex life had become part of their routine. It still made Elphias laugh to remember that time he had teased Albus about his seemingly indiscriminate taste, and Albus insisted that he had standards, and then went on to list them: He wouldn’t have sex with anyone on the team, anyone on the hall, anyone in an exclusive relationship with someone else, anyone whose name he did not know, and professors. Elphias had replied that perhaps Albus should consider changing that to a ‘to do’ list.  
For Christmas, he had given Albus a bingo card with each of those items on it, as well as many others, including ‘parent of team member,’ ‘claims he’s not into guys,’ ‘on rival school’s team,’ and ‘professional bullfighter.’ Albus had laughed and, after crossing off ‘on rival school’s team,’ he hung it up on the cork board over his desk.  
Elphias hadn’t noticed right away, but later realized that he hadn’t seen the bingo card since just before that weekend when Albus had met (or, really, it would be more accurate to say _noticed_ ) the guy who worked at the grocery store.  
And that wasn’t all that had changed. Albus hadn’t talked about other guys at all, he seemed annoyed by other guys flirting with him, and he talked about his mystery man constantly. While all the time refusing to return to the grocery store. 

“But aren’t you going to get bored? I just figured you – needed variety or something.”  
Albus looked offended, “What?! No! I just – didn’t want anyone to get too attached. Get the wrong idea.”  
“And what happens when _this guy_ gets attached?”  
Albus looked thoughtful – even – was Elphias imagining it? – a bit concerned.  
“I’m already attached to him. So – I should want for him to get attached to me, right? I mean, if he wants to. I think he wants to.”  
Heaven help us all.

“Right. So. Sounds like you are still planning on marrying him.”  
Albus got a goofy look on his face. “Well, it is too soon to ask him...”  
Seriously?! Seriously?! Elphias had been _joking_. Yes, it was too soon! Hopefully Albus was joking, too. Please, God.  
“But... Elphias, he’s perfect. He’s smart, and he’s funny, and he is a good listener... he plays guitar, and he lives with Dr. Bagshot – she’s his aunt. And he’s only a couple of inches shorter than me, and he’s a remarkably good kisser. He sings – he sang a song to me! I want to see him every day. It was so hard to walk away from him, but I do need to study. I know I do. But he’s going to meet me after dinner...”

“Albus. Back up. He lives with Dr. Bagshot? How old is he?”  
Albus rubbed the back of his neck. “17. But!! But he is going to be 18 in less than two months. And really, that’s just a year younger than me. He’s going to be a freshman here in the fall.”  
Thank God. Elphias had been worrying over this one since Albus had mentioned this random guy. With other students, you knew more or less what age they were. But meet someone elsewhere…  
“Albus, it’s fine. I’m not going to give you a hard time for dating a 17 year old. But – ”  
“You don’t have to say it, Elphias. We’re waiting.”  
That had not been what Elphias was going to say. But whatever.  
“I want to – take this slow? I haven’t done that before. I – it’s not just about the sex. I want to just, I don’t know, hold him while we read or something? Just being near him felt so good. Touching him is – holding his hand is amazing.”  
Elphias laughed, “Listen to you! You’ve been tamed. The elusive Dumblebeast brought down by the mighty... what’s his name, Albus? You do know his name now?”  
“Gellert Grindelwald.”  
“Gellert Grindelwald. Excellent. I’m glad you caught his name this time.”

Albus sat next to Elphias and threw his arm over his shoulder. “You can be my best man.”  
Elphias gave Albus a shove. “Not until after you’ve showered, I can’t. You smell awful.”  
Albus stood up, but protested, “Gellert thought I smelled ‘intoxicating.’”  
Oh God. This was going to be his life now. Hearing all about what Gellert thought and what Gellert said. After leaving for the summer, the litany was sure to continue with near constant texts from Albus about this Gellert. If it lasted. Elphias did not want to see what post-breakup Albus looked like.  
“Lovely. I can’t wait to meet this guy with the defective nose.”  
“Gellert’s nose,” Albus said, as he walked towards the dresser, “is perfect. Just like the rest of him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Albus is 6’1”, and Gellert is about 5’10” / 5’11”  
> Albus may seem plenty tall already, so why was he hoping for a growth spurt in chapter 2? We’ll learn more in his ‘it’s not like I’m a hobbit’ rant in chapter 14.


	5. Albus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Albus screws up. Elphias to the rescue!

Chapter Five  
Albus POV

“Elphias...” Albus groaned from the bed. He was lying face down one arm hanging out over the edge of the bed, phone in hand.  
Elphias dropped an armload of books on his desk.  
“What now, Albus?”  
“I have screwed it all up already. A week, and I’ve screwed it up.”  
“Screwed what – oh. Gellert?”

Albus groaned again. Yes, Gellert.  
How was he supposed to know that one does not text ‘I need you to leave me alone,’ to one’s boyfriend? Well, and before that, there had been, ‘You’re distracting me,’ and ‘My exams are really important,’ and ‘No, I can’t see you tonight, or tomorrow either.’ Also there was that ten hour stretch when he didn’t answer Gellert’s texts at all, because he had put his phone on do not disturb – without telling him. Now Gellert thought that Albus was trying to break up with him. Rereading the text thread _was_ pretty damning. Especially the ‘leave me alone’ bit followed by, essentially, ghosting him. Followed by his last text, with what was meant to be an apologetic explanation, but could easily be interpreted another way: ‘I can’t do relationships.’  
_But it was exam week._

‘Which doesn’t mean you couldn’t have seen him at all,’ his mind supplied. ‘It’s not like you haven’t been going out for meals. It’s not like you didn’t take an early morning run yesterday...’  
And – it didn’t mean that he couldn’t have explained things better – maybe even spoken to Gellert on the phone instead of relying on texts?

Albus opened his eyes, and saw that Elphias was standing over him.  
Elphias took Albus’ phone from him, then pressed the phone against Albus’ thumb to unlock it and read through the entire text thread.  
Elphias looked from the phone to Albus.  
“Have you communicated with him in any way other than texting in the past three days?”  
“No –“  
“So this is all that he has heard from you - and he lives less than a mile away from our dorm, and you had been seeing him at least twice a day before this?  
“Albus, I have to ask - _Are you_ trying to break up with him?”  
“No! Elphias –“  
“So it was just complete ineptitude.”

Albus pulled the blanket over his head.  
He held out his hand for his phone – and didn’t receive it.  
He peeked out and saw Elphias tapping away.  
“No! Elphias! Give it here!”  
“No, you are not to be trusted with this device. I am confiscating it.”  
“Then how am I supposed to talk to Gellert?”  
“Gellert doesn’t want to talk to you. Yet. I’m working on it.”

Elphias kept tapping. Albus got up and looked for his box of cookies, which turned out to be already empty. Surely they had something else...  
How had they run out of baked goods?! How was this his life?! And now the campus Stop and Go was closed for the night... The Dunkin Donuts was open 24 hours, and it was just off campus. And then there was the...  
“Waffle House.”  
Elphias was a mind reader! Spooky!  
“Yes, good idea.”  
“Jesus, Albus – focus for one minute. Gellert, remember?”  
“Yes, Gellert! Hence my need for a waffle at 1am.”

“Look at me Albus.”  
Albus looked at Elphias, in spite of his certainty that he would only see disappointment there, and in spite of his anger that Elphias had been using his phone to text Gellert - God knows what Elphias was telling him.  
“Gellert is meeting you at the Waffle House. In twenty minutes. I have tried to persuade him that the purpose of this meeting is not for you to break up with him, but I’m not entirely sure he believes me. Tone is hard to read over text. Which you would do well to remember, asshole.”  
“Right. I’m an asshole, texting is shit for tone, I’m seeing Gellert, don’t accidentally break up with him.”  
“You won’t accidentally break up with him, dipshit. That’s what distance communication is for. If you break up in person, you did it on purpose.”

Albus was not convinced that that was true – Elphias hadn’t seen him in person with Gellert. Albus was an inarticulate mess around his boyfriend. God. Was Gellert still his boyfriend?  
“Right. Twenty minutes. I barely have time to change!”  
“No changing. You look a wreck. It’s appropriate. It conveys the proper mood.”  
“This is complicated.”  
“Yeah, staying with someone for longer than two days tends to get complicated, Albus.”  
Harsh.

“But he wants to see me?”  
“If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have said yes. No matter how much attitude he gives you. Get there early. Apologize. Don’t make excuses. Offer a specific time you can get together tomorrow. Hold his hand if he will let you, but _don’t push it._ ”  
“Good. Ok. I can do this.” Then Albus looked at Elphias, suddenly frightened. What was to stop him from doing this again? “You are going to be leaving in two days! What if I need you to coach me again?”  
Elphias sighed. “God help me... Call me if you need to, Albus. But only if things really blow up. I do have a life outside of your drama.”  
Drama was right. Crap. He had gotten one thing right. He really did not know anything about how to do a relationship.

///////

When Gellert entered the Waffle House, he looked more defiant than he had that day on the trail, when Albus had asked him to stop walking. He slid into the booth, and asked, “So?”  
“So – I’m desperately sorry, and I want to apologize profusely and assure you that I still want you, and that you are so much more important to me than I have led you to believe, and that I am aware that I am a complete ass. Which I will do at much more length once we have ordered.”  
“I’m not hungry.”  
Albus didn’t reply, but nodded at the waitress. “Chocolate chip waffle please. And a cup of coffee.”  
Gellert pinched his nose and sighed. “Get him some scrambled eggs too.”  
What?

Gellert turned from the waitress to Albus. “You are going to sugar crash, eating like that. At least add some kind of protein.”  
Albus smiled. “Yes, Dear.” Gellert still cared about him!!  
Albus looked at the waitress. “Scratch the eggs. I’ll have an order of bacon. But I still want the waffle.”  
She looked expectantly at Gellert. “Hashbrowns, I guess. Smothered, covered, and... diced? A glass of water to drink.”  
She walked off with their order.

Gellert looked around. “It’s weird how many people are in here, this time of night.”  
“Well, it’s exam week, and all the campus food options are closed by now, so – this is pretty much it for anyone pulling an all-nighter.”  
“An all-nighter... Albus, how many times have you been up all night working this semester?”  
“Four?” said Albus, a bit embarrassed at having left things until the last moment so often. “To be fair, electrical engineering is a really intense program.” And he tended to put off homework in favor of hanging out with friends and so on.  
“Well, ordering coffee after midnight makes more sense now.”  
“Yeah, I have a timed take home exam due at 8am tomorrow morning. I can put up to eight hours into it, and I’ve only done four so far.”  
Gellert didn’t respond right away. Albus decided to wait. Gellert should get to yell at him or whatever – Albus didn’t want to interrupt that process.

“I didn’t realize how busy you are – I’ve been keeping you away from what you are actually here to do. If you screw this up you could lose your scholarship! You were right. You don’t have time for – ”  
That was – not at all what was supposed to happen.  
“What?! No, Gellert. I’ve been an idiot. I – the first few days, we were together for hours at a stretch – sometimes spontaneously. I’d just show up after your shift or something. And not being able to do that... I don’t know. I thought it was all or nothing, I guess.”  
Albus had had a lot of time on the walk over to think it through, and he was pretty sure that that was what had happened.

“So you went with nothing.”  
“Temporarily, yeah. I figured we’d just pick back up on Friday afternoon.”  
Saturday, realistically. He was probably going to crash on Friday afternoon – sleep 16 hours or something.  
“Albus, you didn’t tell me that. I could have handled that. I think.”  
“Well – I should have told you, but it was also a stupid plan. I want to see you as much as I can. I just need to – manage my time better, build you into my schedule – make sure to have something time-limited planned with you every day, so that I don’t have to rely on spontaneous five hour hangouts. Another example of my idiocy. It doesn’t make what I feel for you any ‘less real’ if I have to pencil you in like a workout.”

Gellert scrolled on his phone as if he were looking at a calendar. “Cardio...weights...shower...doughnuts...Gellert...”  
Albus smiled. “Sometimes I do the weights before the cardio... perhaps I should multitask and meet you out for doughnuts.”  
Gellert did not so much as smile at his joke – maybe it didn’t sound much like a joke. Maybe it sounded like he was more likely to make time for doughnuts than for Gellert. Fuck. He was so bad at this.

“So – time limited. How much time do we have now?”  
“I blocked out an hour? Not counting the walk, so – if you want to walk me back to my room, we have... not quite seventy minutes left together.”  
“Of course I want to walk you to your room.”  
“So you forgive me?”  
Gellert raised an eyebrow. “You’re moving mighty fast there, Mr. ‘Let’s Go Slow.’ Forgiveness is a process.”  
Albus didn’t know how to respond. That seemed fair but... what if Gellert never forgave him? Maybe he would be right not to forgive him. He was a crap boyfriend. Albus looked down at the surface of the table, started picking at a piece of dried ketchup with his fingernail.

“Jesus, Albus… Look at me, please. I wasn’t being serious. Of course I forgive you. You didn’t do anything wrong, exactly, besides prove that you have no idea how to communicate over text.  
“Just – be careful next time, ok? I thought you didn’t want me, and that scared me. Because I still want you. Nothing you’ve done has made me stop wanting you. So yeah, I’m not going to break up with you because you cut me off. That would be pointless.”  
“Thank God. I was afraid I’d lost you.”  
“No – I mean – yes, you could have, but only if you’d given up.”  
Albus nearly had. He’d thought they were done. Good thing Elphias had taken his phone and texted Gellert himself.

Wait – why was Gellert even awake to get Elphias’ texts?  
“Gellert, why are you still up? Don’t you have to work in the morning?”  
“Yeah, well. When your boyfriend has been spending the last 36 hours slowly breaking up with you, it turns out it isn’t so easy to fall asleep.”  
Right. Gellert had been awake at 1am because Albus had hurt him. Albus dropped his head in his hands. Having this kind of power over a person was terrifying.  
“Hey, no. Listen, you asked. But I forgive you, remember?”  
“Still. I’m sorry. God, it sucks that I can hurt you by accident. I’m sorry I’m such an idiot.”  
“And with that, you have officially apologized enough. You’re here, I’m here, we aren’t giving up on each other – we’re good, Albus.”

Maybe so. But Albus was not going to forget this feeling of having failed Gellert. He needed to get better at this boyfriend thing, and fast.  
Right! ‘Hold his hand if he’ll let you.’ Albus reached his hand across the table and wiggled his fingers. Gellert looked around, then sighed. “Yes, ok.” Gellert took Albus’ hand, and Albus broke into a broad smile. Albus loved the way Gellert's hand felt, warm and strong. He loved the callouses on the fingers of Gellert's left hand. But what he wanted more than anything was this reassurance that _Gellert was right there and wanting to touch Albus_...maybe everything was going to be ok after all. 

Just then the waitress arrived with their food. She looked at their hands, and then looked up at Albus with her eyes narrowed. Albus gave her his best ‘get over it and then move the fuck on’ look. She set down the food, shaking her head.  
Gellert started to pull his hand away.  
“Gellert. We have a right. And no one is going to hurt us here.”  
That is, ‘I will not tolerate some squeamish bigot ruining our moment.’  
Gellert looked up at Albus. “You’re sure? This is safe?”  
“Yeah,” said Albus. “Though I will admit that this would not be the right venue for kissing each other. I really want to kiss you right now. I’ve missed you like crazy.”  
“You’ve missed me?”  
Gellert should not have sounded so surprised. Albus could do better – would do better.  
“So much. Let’s get this food eaten, and then we can take a long time getting back to my dorm.”

Gellert went to pull his hand away again.  
“Gellert, I thought –“  
“How are you going to eat if I don’t let go, Albus?”  
Albus smiled brilliantly, “I’m ambidextrous.”  
“Waffles take two hands, asshole.”  
“Shut up, and let me hold your hand. I haven’t touched you in days.”


	6. Gellert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are bothered by Gellert being about a month shy of 18, then this might be underage? Maybe? Kinda sorta?

Chapter Six  
Gellert

Albus had insisted that ‘being your boyfriend does not entitle me to your labor,’ but Gellert was determined to help move Albus into his summer quarters. It didn’t take that many trips anyway. Albus borrowed a dolly for the mini fridge, but otherwise it was all shoes and clothes and sheets and books and so on... About six garbage bags and two boxes worth, altogether. It barely took an hour to get Albus’ things across campus to his summer room – a single room – one bed, one key, no roommates.

When the door shut behind Albus, carrying the last bag, Gellert pushed Albus up against the door and began kissing him. Albus dropped the bag. His arms went around Gellert, and he moaned. “Gellert – we shouldn’t –“  
“What shouldn’t we do?” Gellert asked, before caging Albus in with his arms and kissing him some more.  
“I don’t remember,” gasped Albus. Their mouths crashed together again – but Albus broke away again, too soon.  
“But – Gellert – when are you expected at work?”  
The idea that anything outside of this room had any importance was annoying. But what would be even more annoying was losing his job, so – best to be responsible. Responsible-ish.  
“Four – which gives us...”  
“Two hours,” supplied Albus, “If we allow an hour for you to get home, shower, and change before work.”  
“Mmm. You think I’m going to need to shower and change, do you?”  
“I do,” said Albus, pushing Gellert off of him, and then leading him by the hand to the bed.

“Umm. Albus? The bed’s not made yet.”  
“Which doesn’t matter, since we are not taking off our clothes.”  
“Christ, Albus. Why not?” Then he rolled his eyes. “Never mind. _Going slow._ ”  
It occurred to Gellert, not for the first time, that he should have lied about his experience. Albus’ sense of honor towards him had gone from sweet to frustrating to insulting.  
“I just think that it’s important...”  
“Albus. I may be a virgin, but I’m not a child. It is possible for me to know that I’m ready to simply give you a hand job, for fuck’s sake.”  
Really, Gellert felt ready for anything, _everything_ , but he would be satisfied with any amount of forward motion. Frotting fully clothed was outstanding, admittedly, but he was beginning to think he was _never_ going to see Albus’ cock.  
“Well maybe I’m not ready, ok?” Albus all but shouted. 

What? Albus’ experience was – extensive. What could he possibly not be ready for?  
“Listen, Albus, if you don’t want me, then just say so. Don’t do this –“  
Albus pushed Gellert down onto the bed. Gellert’s legs fell apart, and Albus lay down between them. As he kissed Gellert, they began rocking against each other, and Gellert felt Albus’ hard length rubbing up against his own through all the layers of clothing...  
“You feel that? I want you. So much.”  
Albus began sucking on Gellert’s neck, and Gellert choked out, “No... marks... ok?”  
“Got it,” said Albus, before putting his mouth back on Gellert.  
Gellert grabbed Albus’ ass and bucked up against him, almost instinctually.  
Albus lifted up his head and looked Gellert in the eyes.  
“I love you.”  
Gellert hips fell back down to the bed.  
“You – what now?”

Albus laughed, “God, I hope it’s not that unbelievable. I love you. I’ve been wanting to say so, but I kept holding back worrying that you’d think I was crazy, but –“  
“But?”  
“ _But_ I am starting to think that it is crazy for me to feel this way and not tell you.”  
That made sense.  
Albus was looking down at him, and he looked - amused?  
Gellert didn’t – what could he possibly -  
“Albus, I don’t know what I – my thoughts are all over the place, my feelings are – unbalanced? Right now?”  
“Ok.”  
No it wasn’t fucking ok.

“No, you don’t understand – I had thought about saying those words to you way too early, but then I thought you were breaking up with me, and I was glad I hadn’t told you, because you – I don’t know, it would hurt too much to say that and then lose you right away?  
“So, my feelings are there, but – this is not the day for me to say it. But I want you to know that I love you, even if I can’t say –“  
Albus started laughing. Then Gellert started laughing too. Well, shit.  
“Ok. Well. I guess today is the day after all,” Gellert said with a hesitant smile.  
“Is it? Ok?”  
“Ok that I said I love you? Yeah. It’s – yeah. I like saying it actually. I love you.”  
Albus smiled with his whole face – shining down on Gellert like a blessing.  
“I love you, too.”

Gellert grabbed the back of Albus' head, and coaxed him back down to kiss him.  
After a couple of minutes, Albus pulled back, and Gellert scanned Albus’ face. He looked relaxed, happy – so what was holding him back?  
Gellert ran a hand down the side of Albus’ neck, along his shoulder, down his arm – as if Albus’ body held the answer he was looking for.

“Albus – tell me. You say that you’re not ready. What does that mean?”  
“It means I’d rather we keep our clothes on for now.”  
He was going to be like that, was he?  
“Don’t be obtuse, Albus. I’m asking _why_. You say you love me, you say you want me – you say that my lack of experience isn’t what’s bothering you. You got tested last week. I’m legal. What needs to happen in order for you to feel ready for more? I know it’s not that you haven’t done it all before.”

Albus got up off of Gellert, and sat on the edge of the bed.  
“That’s exactly it, Gellert. I’ve done it before _a lot_. And always within 48 hours of establishing that the guy was interested. And we did everything we were going to do within a couple of hours, max, and then never again. No spending the night, no repeats.”  
Gellert knew _all_ of this. It did not seem to him to be something that deserved a fresh autopsy.  
But Albus continued, “And I’m scared. I don’t know how to do sex that means more than wanting to make the other person feel as good as I’m feeling.”

What? First of all, what they were already doing was arguably sex. Or – nearly. They were making each other come, anyway. But secondly…  
“I’m not sure I understand – does sex _ever_ mean more than that?”  
Albus looked appalled. Apparently Albus did not understand what he meant. At all. What was this alternate reality in which _Gellert_ was explaining sex to _Albus_?  
“Albus, what did you feel for the people you had sex with before?”  
“You’re sure?”  
Gellert nodded.  
“Umm. Ok...” Albus blushed. “You really want me to...?”  
“ _Yes_ , it’s important. It’s ok – I love you.”

“Fine. Ok. When I was with a guy, I wanted to make his body feel good. I wanted it to be worth the time – for it to be better than whatever else he could have spent his time doing just then. I wanted – God, Gellert, this is awkward. I don’t want you to think –“  
“ _I think_ I want you to keep going. You’re doing fine. Tell me the rest. You wanted for him –“  
“I wanted to make him come, preferably more than once. For the time we were together, I wanted for him to be unable to think about anything more than my body and his body and what I was making his body feel. Was that – are you ok?”  
Yeah, this gamble had paid off. Gellert had suspected, but had not known for sure. If what Albus felt for all of those other guys was just physical, then it really didn’t matter how many of them there were, Gellert could live with it. He didn’t need to be the only one – he just wanted to be the last one.

“Yeah, so far. So these guys you umm… these guys you had sex with - they felt the same way about you, more or less?”  
‘These guys you had sex with…’ On second thought, Gellert wasn’t totally ok, thinking of how many people there were who had more intimate knowledge of Albus’ body than he did. But he had Albus in a totally different way than anyone else had, and one day -  
“I did my best to avoid anyone who felt differently enough that one of us might be hurt.”  
“So – reciprocity, right? That seems like a good thing.”

“But – I don't feel like that about you Gellert. I mean, I feel all of that about your body, but that’s not _all_ that I feel. And – ”  
“Right – I know. Me too. Reciprocity again, right? That’s what I’m saying, Albus. When I’m with you, I feel better than I have ever felt before. I feel loved, and seen, and safer than I ever have with anyone else. I feel excited, and awestruck, and my whole body craves you. It makes me happier than I knew I could be just to see you at a distance... but at the same time I feel like I could never be satisfied by anything less than memorizing every square inch of your body. I want to know your every thought and your entire history. I don’t need for sex to mean _more_ than me wanting to make you feel like that.”  
Then he laughed. “And the orgasms thing, of course. Orgasms are a given.” 

“Fuck. Gellert.”  
Albus pushed Gellert back down onto his back.  
“I love you,” Albus said. “God, you’re perfect. How are you real?”  
He kissed Gellert fiercely.  
“Take off your pants,” said Albus.  
Gellert smiled. “No, you take them off.”  
So Albus did.


	7. Albus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER ALERT: This chapter centers around a PTSD induced flashback. It is followed by a description of the violence that constitutes the main trauma that is at the root of Gellert’s PTSD (as retold by Gellert in the typically detached way that so many trauma victims tell their stories.)  
> I wrote this chapter from Albus’ POV rather than Gellert’s, because describing the flashback from the inside was triggering me, TBH, and having it described by an outside observer gave me enough distance to write it.  
> Poor Albus – he is new to all this, and so he has no idea what is happening.

Chapter Seven  
Albus

It seemed to Albus that Gellert would have stayed in Albus’ room if he could have, for every hour of the day. Not that Gellert wasn’t agreeable to skipping stones across the pond in the arboretum, or going to a matinee, or going to the library, but once they were in Albus’ room, Gellert seemed to tense up whenever Albus suggested that they go somewhere else – anywhere else. It was subtle, and it didn’t last very long, but Albus noticed and wondered about it.

Albus had invited Gellert to come with him to the gym several times, and Gellert always said no. But Albus had noticed that Gellert had a University ID (when questioned, Gellert shared that he was entitled to one as the ward of a faculty member), and so there was really no reason for Gellert not to come along.  
Gellert had finally caved, and it was obvious that he knew his way around a gym – that he had a routine and everything.  
But he was adamant about them showering and dressing back at Albus’ dorm. Which was odd, but not inconvenient enough to push it. So they walked back towards Albus’ dorm, and they were just about 150 yards out from the gym when Gellert – just stopped moving. 

Albus didn’t notice at first – it wasn’t unusual for Gellert to be at least half a pace behind if they weren’t holding hands – but he looked over his shoulder, and Gellert was standing several paces back – staring at – a tree maybe? – and trembling. All the blood was drained from his face, every muscle looked too tight.  
“Gellert?”  
Nothing. Albus lifted up his hand to touch Gellert’s shoulder, and Gellert jerked away. He backed away from Albus until he was off the edge of the asphalt, and then he squatted in the dirt. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his knees, and began rocking gently.  
Albus sat down on the edge of the path, more than half a meter away from Gellert, to give him a little space.  
“Leave me alone,” Gellert whispered. He repeated it: “Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone...”

“Gellert?” Albus asked again, quieter this time.  
Gellert looked up and met his eyes. “Albus,” he answered, looking a bit confused, distant.  
Albus reached towards Gellert.  
“No!” Gellert yelped. He took a deep breath, “I mean, please no, Albus. I need you not to touch me right away. I feel – can we just –“  
Gellert stood and brushed himself off.  
“Let’s just go back to your room.”

Gellert was talking, and standing. This was progress. But that had been fucking terrifying. What the hell just happened?  
Albus nodded and stood.  
“Back to my room then.”  
“Can you – um – I need you to walk in front of me. Where I can see you.”  
“Sure Gellert,” said Albus.  
Anything. He would do anything if it meant that Gellert would feel better.

///////

Albus turned the key and let them into his room. The door shut behind them, and immediately Gellert looked more relaxed. He sat on Albus’ bed, while Albus sat straddling the seat back of his university-issue wooden desk chair.  
“Gellert are you ok? I mean – Christ – I know you’re not ok, but – is it better? In here?”  
Albus watched as Gellert closed his eyes and opened and closed his fists a couple of times. Then he opened his eyes and looked around. His eyes lingered on Albus’ Taylor Swift poster. Right – Albus had only put that up in this new room this morning. Gellert looked at Albus and lifted one eyebrow. Albus was prepared to go to the mat for Taylor Swift, but right now was probably not the time.  
Gellert’s attention turned to the door. Albus got up and threw the deadbolt.  
Finally, Gellert answered. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”  
Albus didn’t want to push Gellert, but – it seemed pretty important for him to at least know if it might happen again, and how to be helpful.

“You know when you’re a kid, and some grownup tells you ‘life isn’t fair?’ That’s such an understatement.”  
“Yeah.” Albus knew a thing or two about radical unfairness. Speaking of things that should probably be shared. He hadn’t told Gellert anything about his family other than that his parents were dead. He needed to make time for that soon.

“So. Umm. Remember when we first met on the trail, and I told you about getting suspended? So – I used to run cross country. And I was in the locker room after practice... the guys would tease me sometimes. They would accuse me of looking at them, they would say – God, how did they even know I was gay? Anyway. I wasn’t looking, you know. I was _so careful_. I even made sure to never shower at the same time as everyone else. Which meant staying later. I didn’t think about how vulnerable I was making myself...”  
Was Gellert – blaming himself for whatever it was that happened to him?  
“Stop frowning, dammit!” Gellert snapped.

“I’m sorry, Gellert. I just – hate that someone hurt you, and I’m not sure – it’s hard to know how to react, or what to do – I – I’m sorry, carry on.”  
“Right, sorry. I – it was actually four someones. They ganged up on me, and – I don’t remember exactly what happened, which my therapist says is normal – she says my brain was so busy handling the emergency that it didn’t record all the memories? Or something like that. Anyway. I do know that they came from behind me. At one point someone threw me on the floor, and I hit my head on the bench on the way down. I think someone punched me before that, but I’m not sure? Then they all kicked me until – I guess I passed out.”

What the hell? This had happened _at school_?  
“Where was your coach?”  
“Small school, one coach for a co-ed team – and she didn’t come into the boys’ locker room, naturally. She asked after me when the guys left, and she said later that they had said, ‘You know Gellert – he spends ages in the shower.’ She gave up on waiting for me and left.”  
“She left?!”  
“She believed them, so – no reason to stick around if I was fine, right? So. I came to, alone in the locker room, a bit bloody, and aching all over. I’d broken a rib.”

“ _They_ broke your rib, you mean.”  
“Right, they broke my rib. Ruptured my spleen. Gave me a concussion.”  
“Jesus, Gellert!”  
Gellert continued as if Albus had not spoken. “Not that the dumbass local hospital picked up on any of that at first. But what can you do, right? They were known for all sorts of dumb shit. One time, this friend of my dad’s was in the ER, and – never mind, I’ll tell you later.  
“Anyway, I was worse the next day –“  
The next day?!  
“So my mom took me to a proper hospital an hour and a half away, and that’s when they found all the stuff that was messed up.”

“You didn’t get treatment for a ruptured spleen until the next day?!”  
“Well, luckily the bleeding wasn’t so bad...”  
‘Wasn’t so bad.’ Jesus. What Gellert had been through. Oh God! That’s why he had flinched when Albus had come up behind him on the trail that first day! That was why he was always walking just a step behind Albus! That was why he wouldn’t go to the locker room! Why he had avoided the gym! Why he never went running with Albus! Had he given up on running altogether? Those assholes! So many things were making sense. Come to think of it, Gellert seemed to use the word ‘safe’ a lot. Always asking, ‘is it safe?’ or mentioning 'I feel safe.'

“And what happened to the kids who did it?”  
Gellert laughed, a dark broken laugh. “Nothing. The four of them claimed that I had been fine when they left, and I must have fallen and was just trying to get them in trouble out of spite, or jealousy or something. The school administrators were idiots and believed them. ‘Why would they lie about something like that?’ They were ‘such good boys’, they would never have done that to anyone.  
“My Dad was pissed. He wanted to press charges – to get the Sheriff’s office to investigate. And logically, he was right. There was no way for me to get all of those injuries just slipping in the shower. A person, and probably more than one person, had to be involved. But – I didn’t see the point. One of the boys was the Sheriff’s own son. Another was the son of a circuit judge. Another was the son of the biggest landholder in the area. It just – if everyone at school already believed them, then I didn’t trust that anything would come of it if we involved folks even more invested in their innocence.”

“So – you were suspended for lying?”  
“Ha! No. That would have been brilliant, but no. No, I earned that suspension. When I returned to school, I went up to the biggest of the four guys, and I hit him. I warned him, but I guess he wasn’t expecting a ‘faggot’ to know how to use a fist. He just stood there grinning at me. One swing and he was down. Then I spit on him. Of course, there were a ton of witnesses, so I couldn’t have denied it was me even if I had wanted to.  
“Dad was weirdly proud of me for having done it. I don’t know if he’s ever liked me more than he did the day he picked me up from the school office. He gave me a beer when we got home.”

Albus was rubbing his face. This was completely insane. And Gellert was reciting the whole story like he was summarizing a movie that he wouldn’t recommend.  
Gellert sighed. “Ok, Albus, what part of this is bothering you the most?”  
“All of it! He gave you a beer? Nothing ever happened to those guys? They ruptured your spleen? There was no coach supervising the locker room? You could have died in there, and you wouldn’t have been found until the morning! What _isn’t_ bothering me about this, Gellert?!” Albus couldn’t get the image out of his head of Gellert lying on the floor of the locker room, bleeding, with four guys kicking him. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to throw up or to kick a few people himself.  
“Yeah, I guess it is pretty fucked up, overall,” Gellert conceded, his voice weirdly casual.

He guessed. This assault had changed Gellert’s scale for ‘fucked up,’ it seemed.  
Albus knew there was nothing he could do to make things better, but he hated being so far away from Gellert.  
“Can I – do you feel safe enough for me to sit next to you now?”  
Gellert smiled – a kind of empty looking smile. “Well, I reckon you aren’t going to hurt me, so.”  
Albus laughed, “Yeah, I have no plans to do you physical harm.” Then he sobered. “Sorry. That was maybe –“  
“Maybe perfect? I’m glad you can joke about it. Come here already.”

Albus stood up and walked over to the bed. He sat down next to Gellert, a small distance away. A third person could have easily sat between them.  
“I umm – Albus? You can come closer.”  
“You’re alright?”  
“No, I’m not alright. That’s why I need you to come closer. Please? I feel – safer with you. It’s better not being alone.”  
Albus scooted over so his leg was against Gellert’s, and he put his arm around Gellert’s shoulder. Gellert flinched, but then leaned into him.  
“So,” said Gellert, “now you know.”  
“Now I know,” said Albus, feeling helpless, scared, a bit naive. These things weren’t supposed to happen anymore. And now these people who had hurt Gellert, they were _still hurting him_. 

“You were so right to never go back to that fucking madhouse. Getting expelled was no great loss. Good call. You may have saved your life – but in any case, you saved yourself from whatever injury they were going to inflict on you next. I mean... not that you need my approval or anything.”  
Gellert laughed nervously. “I kind of do, right now. I might feel safer now, but that doesn’t mean I feel ok.”  
“Mmm. Well if you need my approval, you have it. Let it be known that I, Albus Dumbledore, wholeheartedly approve of Gellert Grindelwald.”

Gellert took a deep breath, turned to the side, put his hand on Albus’ face, and kissed him gently – once, twice.  
“Are you sure?” Albus asked.  
“I would not have kissed you if I were not sure, Albus. Please, can we lay down? That was exhausting, and I just need...”  
They were both still sweaty from the gym, and had their shoes on, but Albus figured it was about time to change the sheets anyway.  
They lay down together, Albus on his back and Gellert clinging to him like a koala to a tree. “I love you,” Albus whispered, and Gellert’s arm tightened around him in acknowledgment. It wasn’t long before Gellert’s breathing evened out. Soon after, his leg twitched – a sure sign that he was asleep.

Albus lay there, with his arms around Gellert. Instead of sleeping, he was running through the past four weeks, re-evaluating everything through the lens of this new information.  
What had happened on the way back from the gym could happen again – would happen again. Albus was determined to learn exactly what he needed to do the next time it happened.


	8. Gellert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Please note the rating has changed from Mature to Explicit
> 
> I am usually very pro-Bathilda. I love writing saucy Bathilda, and ‘Bathilda ships it,’ etc etc. But… That’s not the Bathilda we’re getting in this fic. This Bathilda had been living alone for a long time before Gellert came, and she’s pretty set in her ways. And on top of that, she had a teenager with a lot of problems dumped on her, and she’s doing the best she can, but she has very little knowledge, and a lot of anxiety around ‘getting it right.’ Which all combines to make her – not very likable in Gellert’s eyes, sometimes. (Often.)
> 
> Note: This chapter contains sexual content with a still not-quite 18 year old

Chapter Eight  
Gellert

Gellert pulled his key out of his pocket and opened the front door.  
“Behold! Chez Bagshot!”  
Albus laughed. “It’s lovely.”  
What made it lovely was that Albus was here and Aunt Bathilda was not. It was the first time she’d left for the weekend in months, and that meant that it was the first time that he and Albus were going to get to spend the whole night together.

“The house is alright. What’s lovely is the screen porch. It has a fan, so it is almost tolerable out there even now. But maybe we should wait until later tonight.”  
“Uh-huh…” Albus said absently. It wasn’t like him to just tune out –  
Oh. Studying the bookshelf. Of course.  
“Don’t touch a thing there, Albus – Auntie is hyperaware of her bookcases. You could steal a throw pillow and she would have absolutely no idea, but nudge a book back half an inch, and she’ll start interrogating me about why I found that title so interesting.”  
Albus started laughing, but Gellert was dead serious.  
“So if I were to touch –“  
“Dammit, Albus!”

“I’m kidding. Hey, come here.”  
Albus dropped his bag and pulled Gellert to him, holding him and rubbing his back.  
“Any other rules I should know so that I don’t give you a heart attack? I want having me over to be fun for you. If it isn’t, we can always go back on campus.”  
Now Albus was going to think he was a crazy person.  
“Not really…”  
“C’mon Gellert. I don’t want to make your life difficult for you.”  
That was not a bad point.

“Ok. First is – shoes off.”  
Albus stepped back and looked pointedly at Gellert’s feet.  
“Yes, well. We both need to do that.”  
They sat on the sofa and removed their shoes, then Albus pushed Gellert down on the sofa and lay on top of him.  
“What’s next?”  
Oh God. Gellert knew what he wanted to be next.

“Umm - Make sure all of your clothing leaves the house with you.”  
“Obviously.”  
“’Obviously’, he says, like I’ve never seen his room.”  
Albus bent down and kissed Gellert.  
“I know how to behave. I just don’t do it.”

Gellert hoped that was true. He could stand to see a little misbehavior from Albus. He grabbed Albus’ ass and pulled him tightly to him, then ground against him. He pressed his lips to Albus’. Albus opened his lips almost right away, and began exploring Gellert’s mouth with his tongue. Gellert groaned.  
“My room?”  
“Mmm. In a minute,” said Albus, putting his mouth back on Gellert’s, completely stealing his breath and his ability to think all at once.

Albus unbuttoned Gellert’s jeans, and suddenly Gellert’s brain started working again.  
“I – umm – lube is upstairs?”  
“I’ve got lube in my bag right here.”  
“And the sofa…”  
Albus sat up and whipped off his t-shirt. Oh God, he was gorgeous. How was it possible that Albus had ended up in Gellert’s life? Gellert reached up and began running his hands over Albus’ body. He felt even better than he looked. He pulled Albus back down and licked a nipple.  
Albus threw his head back and groaned. “Jesus, Gellert.”

Gellert’s hands moved down to the waistband of Albus’ shorts.  
“Oh no. I am taking care of you first of all.”  
“I don’t see why we can’t take of each other at the same time.”  
“Later.”  
“But – the lube?”  
Albus got up and grabbed the lube out of his bag. “This?” he said waving the lube, “is for these,” he continued, wiggling his fingers. “I want us to get to know each other’s bodies first. And I want to help you learn about your own.”  
Then he pulled off Gellert’s jeans and briefs and lay his t-shirt under him. 

His mouth hovering over Gellert’s cock, Albus tipped his head up to look in Gellert’s eyes and ask, “Any other reservations, Handsome?”  
Gellert could hardly breathe, much less speak, so he just shook his head. Albus smiled and licked Gellert, while circling his hole with a lubed finger. As he sucked Gellert’s cock into his mouth, he gently, slowly pushed his finger in. It felt… good? But strange. Until –  
“Albus!! What is…? Unngh!”  
Albus removed his mouth long enough to say, “That, Lovely, is your prostate. Want me to keep going?”  
“Fuck yes.”  
Fuck. Yes.

///////

Gellert could cook, but his repertoire was somewhat limited. He’d only started learning since coming to stay with Aunt Bathilda. He opened the fridge. Not much there. “So… we could warm up some vegetarian chili, or… wait a minute.”  
He closed the fridge and turned to the pantry. “Right. I could also make beans and rice, or spaghetti,” he offered, still rummaging through the shelves.  
“Umm… chili? I guess?”

Gellert turned to look at Albus. He looked – unenthused.  
“None of that sounds good to you, I’m guessing.”  
“I can eat anything, Gellert. It’s fine.”  
“No, listen. I don’t mind going out, or ordering a pizza or Chinese food… Those are just the only options in the house. Or – shit. I should have offered. You could make a ham sandwich or tuna, and I could have some of the leftover chili.” Gellert had been a vegetarian for long enough that he just – didn’t even see meat, sometimes. It wasn’t relevant to him, so his eyes skipped right over it. 

“You know, we haven’t talked about meat yet. Like what –“  
“And we totally can. But only once we have food in front of us, because I am too hungry to be a nice person right now.”  
“Well let’s eat here then, and get you fed as soon as possible. I’ll fend for myself – can I browse the fridge?”  
“Sure – I’ll let you know if something is off limits. Just – don’t move things around too much – Aunt Bathilda has a system.”  
Albus laughed. “Dr. Bagshot sounds like a difficult woman to live with.”  
He had no idea.

Albus hesitated with his hand on the refrigerator handle. “Maybe you should just… Would you mind giving me a full verbal inventory? I don’t want to stress you out, or set you up for her to fuss at you later.”  
That was going to be a pain in the ass, but – Albus really was right. If he forgot and put a container back on the wrong shelf…  
“Yeah sure.” Gellert opened the fridge and started listing – everything. Still, this was sure to be faster than going out.

///////

Albus was just about finished with his steak sandwich when he began questioning Gellert.  
“So – is it an ethics thing?”  
Unclear antecedent. But Albus probably meant being a vegetarian... ‘An ethics thing?’ Gellert resisted rolling his eyes - with difficulty.  
“Isn’t it always? I mean, there are lots of reasons people have for not eating meat, but it all boils down to belief, right?”  
“Well, not necessarily. There are people who do it for health reasons.”  
“Really? Ok. I haven’t met anyone who says that’s their reason, but I can see that, I guess.”  
“And there are people who are allergic to meat.”  
“I’ve heard of that! They were bitten by some kind of tick? Is that all meat, though? Or just pork and beef? Not fish, right?”  
“Hmm. I don’t know.”  
“Yeah, I don’t think those people probably say, ‘I’m a vegetarian.’ I imagine they say, ‘I’m allergic to meat.’”

Gellert continued, “Is there a reason you didn’t just say, ‘why are you a vegetarian?’”  
“My psych professor said that ‘why questions’ sound confrontational.”  
Gellert laughed. “Shit. College. Alright. Did they say that ‘is it an ethics thing’ sounds dismissive?”  
Albus looked mortified. “Oh Christ. I didn’t mean –“  
“I know you didn’t. What I’m more concerned about is that the question you asked wasn’t structured to get the answer you were looking for. If you were trying to avoid ‘why,’ you could have gone with ‘what is your reason…’ I guess.”

Albus held up a finger and then put it back it down.  
“God. You’re such a word parser. You should be a lawyer.”  
Very funny. Albus was well aware that that was the plan. Ever since that ‘what are you going to study’ conversation, Albus had managed to work ‘You should be a lawyer’ into conversation almost every day. Hopefully he would tire of it soon.  
Gellert rolled his eyes and waited.

“Ok, fine. What is your reason for being a vegetarian?”  
“Eating meat isn’t very good for the planet. The plant food that we expend raising animals for slaughter is so much greater than if people just ate the plants directly. So, it’s wasteful. And honestly, agriculture isn’t that good for the planet, the way we do it, to begin with. Organic or not, there’s still the fuel for the farm equipment. And you should see – even a small farm buys grease for their machines in big oil drums. So even without the pesticides – which most farms are still using –“  
And do not even get Gellert started on crop dusting, which was still a thing, and the weirdly high cancer and birth defects rates in his county, which he suspected was directly related to pesticides seeping into their wells…  
“Even without accounting for monoculture and all the rest… anyway, what I’m saying is that I’m all too aware that raising plants is not exactly a clean endeavor, but that’s much more of a reason to grow less of them to feed animals.”  
Albus tipped his head. “But – you’re not a vegan.”

Gellert had known that was coming. Albus was too attentive to miss that inconsistency. The hypocrisy of that did bother him.  
“Yeah. That’s inconsistent of me, for sure. I hope that I will be able to pull that off eventually. But right now, I’m – building up to it, I guess.”  
“And you don’t want to live without cheese,” Albus said, smiling.  
God. He couldn’t get away with anything with Albus. How did he know him so well already?  
“Ok, yes. It’s actually about cheese.”

Albus looked pleased with himself. It was the sort of thing that would have annoyed Gellert if it had been – anyone else, probably. But Albus – he trusted Albus. Albus didn’t want to observe Gellert’s little quirks in order to make fun of him, like kids at school had done. He didn’t _think_ he knew Gellert, and use half-truths as the basis for bad assumptions, like Aunt Bathilda. No, Albus wanted to really know him, because he loved him. That was new. So this slightly smug expression, this ‘it’s about cheese’ – Gellert actually liked it. He enjoyed seeing Albus’ delight in figuring Gellert out – he loved that Albus _wanted_ to figure him out.

///////

Gellert’s room had a double bed, which was why they were staying here instead of Albus’ tonight. Albus was almost too big for the bed in his dorm room all by himself. Though Albus had also been bugging him about having never seen his room.  
So Gellert was not particularly surprised when Albus began exploring as soon as he entered the room. Gellert kept his space pretty clean. The messy area was his desk – covered in books and papers.  
But there wasn’t much else in the room, really. His guitars, an amp, a pair of headphones… does a tissue box count? But there were no clothes on the floor, unlike _some people’s_ spaces. Everything else was away in drawers or neatly hung in the closet.

Albus looked a bit confused.  
“Gellert, you don’t have any photographs.”  
No, he didn’t. Who would he want a photograph of? Albus now, but… he had dozens of photos of Albus on his phone.  
“Or posters or anything.”  
“Well, I knew I wasn’t going to be here long. And Aunt Bathilda said not to use tape or pushpins on her walls, and I didn’t want to spend my money on frames and shit.”  
And it didn’t make sense to him to give just anyone a clear view of the inside of his head like that. Not that anyone had seen his room but Aunt Bathilda, his mother, and now Albus. But that actually made the point for him – of the three, the only one he would trust with the inside of his head was Albus.

Albus nodded slowly, like he knew that Gellert was holding something back. Gellert liked that about Albus. He was able to communicate that sort of thing without pushing.  
“I know what I like without needing to advertise it to all and sundry.”  
“There it is,” said Albus smiling. “I love you.”  
Gellert got into the bed and lay on his side. “I love you too. Come here?”  
“Mmm… I’m not sleepy yet.”  
“I’m counting on it.”

Gellert sat up on the edge of the bed and reached out to Albus.  
Albus came closer, and Gellert began removing Albus’ shorts.  
“It’s your turn. I have been waiting long enough to get my mouth on you.”  
“Are you sure, Gellert? You don’t have to.”

Gellert gazed at Albus’ beautifully hard cock, inches away from his mouth. Ever since he had first seen it, he had been wanting to lick it, to suck on it – but Albus had insisted on waiting. Always waiting.  
“I know I don’t. But it looks like you would like for me to.”  
“Yes but –“  
“I want to, too. So much.” Gellert looked Albus in the eyes as he began stroking Albus’ cock with his hand, and cradling Albus’ balls with his other hand. “Please. You can instruct me as I go, but I want –“  
Albus closed his eyes and nodded. “Yes. God. Yes please.”

Gellert smiled, and grabbed Albus’ ass to pull him just a bit closer. He took just the head of Albus’ cock in his mouth. This was a bit intimidating to be sure. He hoped he wouldn’t embarrass himself. But mostly he was excited. His first time going down on someone, and it was Albus. He hoped that it would always be Albus. Only Albus.  
He sucked on Albus gently, and then a bit harder. He removed his mouth and then licked Albus from base to tip. Then he looked up at him.  
“I want this to feel good for you. Tell me what to do.”

///////

Gellert looked down at Albus, sleeping in his bed. Fuck. Albus was sleeping in his bed. There was absolutely nothing he would change about his life in this moment. Every problem was just receding to the background – a minor annoyance. His gorgeous, brilliant, adoring boyfriend was in his bed, and his face was relaxed, and he was holding Gellert’s pillow to himself as if it were Gellert himself, which was just too adorable. Gellert snapped a photo.  
It was too bad he had to wake him, but it couldn’t be helped.  
“Albus… Albus?” He was going to have to shake him.

“Gellert? What time is – 5:20? Whyyyyy ???” He whined pitifully.  
“I have to be at the store at 6. Store opens at 7, so.”  
“But it only takes 25 minutes to get there.”  
“Well, I may have allowed extra time to wake my boyfriend and kiss him goodbye.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too, sleepyhead. I love watching you sleep. Shit. That sounded less creepy in my head.”  
“Mmmm. It’s not creepy. You, my love, are welcome to watch me sleep every opportunity you get. I like watching you sleep too. Come down here and kiss me?”  
Gellert bent down, but Albus pulled him back into bed.

“You ass! I can’t stay here with you.”  
“No, I know. Just – you have five minutes, right?” Albus’ tongue was in Gellert’s mouth nearly immediately. Gellert pulled away. “Wait – first, I need to tell you – I’m leaving you my key. Meet me at the store at 1:30?”  
“Are we coming back here?”  
“If you want. We have another night.”  
“Gellert – I’ve never – I know you think sometimes that I don’t have any firsts left, but I had never spent the night with anyone before. I’m glad it was you. I want to do that as often as we can. Falling asleep holding you – I love you.”  
Albus began kissing Gellert again – his mouth, his jaw, his neck… he began unbuttoning Gellert’s shirt.

Gellert grabbed Albus’ hands. “I wish we could keep going, but I have to go. This afternoon, ok? Then we can nap after, and wake up properly, all wrapped up in one another.”  
Albus gave Gellert one last quick kiss. “This afternoon. I’ll miss you.”  
Gellert missed Albus every minute they weren’t together. It was tremendously difficult to leave him, every time. But to leave Albus behind when he was in Gellert’s bed? Excruciating.  
“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey - so - let me know if you're reading? I'm starting to feel that I'm just flinging this fic into the void.


	9. Albus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you tracking the underage warning - Gellert is 18 from here on out

Chapter Nine  
Albus

Albus was nervous. He had not been dating Gellert long enough to know what to get him for his birthday. He was terrible with gifts. And Elphias had been no help at all. ‘He will like whatever you get for him,’ and ‘You are overthinking this,’ and ‘This is not an emergency,’ and ‘Just give him a blowjob.’ That last one had probably just been an attempt at getting Albus to stop texting him, now that he thought about it.  
He was terrible at everything. Why hadn’t anyone revoked his boyfriend license yet?  
Albus was thinking that he should have done something more, or something different, or something both more and different, when Gellert knocked on the door. 

When Albus opened the door, Gellert looked at him, turned his head just enough to give Albus a side eye.  
“You do not look happy to see me.”  
“Oh! Gellert, no. I’m always – Happy Birthday! Yesterday. I mean, today, since we’re celebrating today, but – “  
Gellert started laughing. “Let me in so that I can kiss you properly. Unless you want me to embarrass you out here in the hall.”  
Oh shit! He hadn’t moved from the doorway!  
“Oh – right – I – umm…“  
Gellert grinned at him. “Awkward much, today?”  
So much. Albus groaned and moved out of Gellert’s way.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Gellert took Albus into his arms. “I have missed you so much. The past two days have been miserable.”  
Then he kissed Albus, inviting his tongue into his mouth.  
Too soon, Gellert removed his mouth from Albus’ and dropped his head onto Albus’ shoulder. “I wish I could have seen you yesterday. You were the only thing I wanted for my birthday, and I couldn’t have you.”

Albus had been disappointed about that too, and he was about to ask Gellert about how his birthday had been, when Gellert noticed the present on Albus’ desk.  
“Albus! You got me something?”  
“Of course I got you something.”  
Gellert held up the package and smiled, “Hmm – let me guess…”  
“Yes, very cleverly deduced.”  
Albus had gone to Vintage Vinyl, and subsequently learned that records are impossible to wrap to look like anything else.

“May I?”  
“Sure, of course,” said Albus, going for nonchalant and managing only ill-concealed panic.  
Gellert opened the package, and looked through the five records, his smile growing wider with each one.  
“How did you know?”  
“I kind of – didn’t? I went to the record store and told the guy there that my boyfriend plays guitar, and sings some, but mostly listens to music for the guitar parts, and I asked him what to get. So he asked me if you played electric or acoustic, and I said yes, and he rolled his eyes at me and asked me what you listen to, so I told him –“

“Wait. How, though? We haven’t listened to music together that much.”  
“That part’s easy – I looked at your phone, memorized a bunch of band names off of your playlist – and then the guy at the store picked out the records. So – I didn’t do anything, really.”  
Gellert looked at Albus incredulously. “Didn’t do anything? Albus, you bought me presents. You looked at my phone!”  
Oh God. He had looked at Gellert’s phone. What an invasion of privacy! What had he been thinking?! “I would never – it was just your playlist, I promise. Ugh. I’m a terrible boyfriend.”

Gellert laughed, “You misunderstood me – you are a wonderful boyfriend, Albus. I don’t remember the last time someone went to any trouble to learn what I like.”  
“I still don’t know – I have no idea about any of those bands.”  
“Well, then, I’ll have to educate you.” Then Gellert laughed. “… just as soon as I can get my hands on a turntable.”  
Albus had been afraid of this.  
“Oh God. I’m so sorry. I just – had heard that vinyl sounds better or something? And I thought that a musician might be more likely – but of course not. And I guess Bathilda doesn’t…?”  
“No, she does. Next time she’s out of the house, we can use hers.”

///////

Over lunch, Gellert began telling Albus about his birthday. (While also dropping vegetables from his plate onto Albus’ – ‘Sweet and sour pork, Albus? Seriously? That’s like candy. Have some broccoli.’)  
“Aunt Bathilda thinks that I spend too much time with you, and she has some idea that birthdays are only for family, and I thought, given her attitude, it was not the time to tell her that I consider you to be family.”

Albus was overwhelmed. Gellert had never taken him to meet his aunt, so Albus had been beginning to feel that maybe he meant less to Gellert than Gellert meant to him.  
“You – consider me to be family?”  
“Yes, asshole. Of course. I love you, you love me, I spend part of every day with you, and you seem to like me better than anyone else in the world does. Family. I choose you.”  
“Gellert – wow – I…”  
I – what? I don’t have much of a family, so I don’t even know what that means? I am terrified that you trust me so much? I love you too?  
“I think I like you better than family. Family is – all fucked up.”

Gellert laughed. “Yeah it is. Or, mine is. Sounds like yours is, too. I mean, if you’re talking blood kin. Anyway –“ Gellert drifted off, looking a bit embarrassed. That wouldn’t do.  
“I love you. And there is no one else I would rather be with. And I will always be there for you. So if that’s what you mean by family, then ok. Yes.  
“But so, you spent the day with your family – your – other family.”  
“Not really. By ‘family’ Aunt Bathilda apparently meant herself, because my parents didn’t show. I haven’t seen them in more than a year. Wait – no. That’s not true – my Mom was here for a few hours the day after Christmas.”

“God, Gellert. What the fuck?”  
“It’s not that bad. At least Mom mailed a present this year. And she called. I hadn’t heard from her in – a month, I guess? She said Dad was on second shift and was sorry that he couldn’t wish me a Happy Birthday, too. But he last spoke to me a couple of days before I came to live with Aunt Bathilda, so – I’m not sure exactly how sorry he is, really.”  
Then Gellert muttered, “Sorry I was born, maybe.”

Albus did not know what to say to any of this. He sat there trying to think of something appropriate, but nothing came out until he blurted,  
“Sounds like you don’t have parents either.” Then he blushed. “I mean, sorry – I – “  
“No, it’s fine, Albus. I kind of don’t have parents anymore. Well, I have Aunt Bathilda. She is enough of a pain for two.”

“It’s not just the birthday thing?”  
Gellert rolled his eyes. “There are so many things. She hasn’t even met you and she doesn’t like you, because I spend too much time with you – and honestly, she only knows about half or less of the times that I am seeing you. She gets on my case for playing my guitar too much, for spending too much time in my room, for not spending enough time outside. I’m not allowed to have refined sugar, so instead of a birthday cake? She put some candles in a crustless frittata at breakfast.”

Albus thought about the brownies he had baked for Gellert.  
“Oh! Are you – diabetic?”  
Gellert laughed. “No. She thinks that sugar makes people depressed. She thinks that I am suffering from depression, and with the right combination of foods and sunshine and an ‘early to bed, early to rise,’ sleep schedule, she can make me well.”  
“So – it is ok that I made you brownies?”  
“You made me brownies?”  
“Well, I would have made you a cake, if I had known that you weren’t going to have one. Or I would have tried. I’m not much of a baker. But brownies are not so hard –“

“Shut up, Albus. You are a mess today. I love you, brownies are perfect, the records are perfect, you are perfect.”  
Well. That was just embarrassing. And inaccurate. And impossible to live up to.  
“I am not.”  
“Ok, you’re not,” Gellert agreed.  
Albus’ eyes grew wide. He wasn’t sure whether or not to be insulted.  
Gellert laughed. “You’re better than perfect, asshole. You’re mine. You’re mine, and I love you.”

“You seem to think that asshole is a pet name.”  
“If I say it affectionately enough?”  
“Maaaay-be…”  
Albus paused to pay the check. This was not a conversation he wanted to have in front of the waiter.

////////

Albus didn’t want to argue on Gellert’s birthday, or belated birthday, or un-birthday or whatever. But he didn’t think he would be able to hold it in any longer. Which Gellert seemed to sense, because he was the first one to speak after they left the restaurant.  
“Ok, Albus. Let’s not do this in your room. Shall we walk around town, or around campus, or in the arboretum?”  
Albus thought about it. The arboretum was – special. It was where they had first gotten to know each other. And they might run into someone he knew on campus. “Town, I guess.”  
Gellert turned left, away from campus.  
“I lead our feet, you lead the conversation – s’alright?”

Albus swallowed. Maybe this wasn’t such a big deal. Maybe he could live with it. Maybe…  
“C’mon Albus. Just – tell me, ok? You’re starting to make me nervous.”  
Right. He could do this.  
“Yeah, so, when you call me ‘asshole,’ I think of all the ways in which I really am an asshole.”  
“What? Albus, you’re not –“  
“I am! I almost broke up with you – “  
“By accident. It’s ok.”  
“It’s not! And I didn’t even notice that you are depressed…”

“That's because I’m _not_ depressed, Albus. I’m getting treated for PTSD, but that’s totally different.”  
Oh! The whole locker room incident. That – made sense? Albus had thought only soldiers got PTSD, but looked like no. At least he knew now what to look up online.  
“Then why does Dr. Bagshot - ?”  
“Well, I was maybe depressed when I first got here last year, but that was – pretty normal, given everything that had been happening for the past few years. My therapist says that it was finally safe for me to shut down, so I did. Anyway, I’m not depressed anymore. Aunt Bathilda confuses triggering me for a sign that I’m depressed.”  
“Triggering - ?”  
“She won’t stop coming up behind me. She thinks that I need to get over my reaction to that, and once I stop being startled –“  
“Then you can have sugar again?”  
Gellert laughed, “No, then it will mean that her crazy diet worked, and I should keep eating that way.”  
Albus was beginning to become morbidly curious about Dr. Bagshot. She sounded like a complete train wreck. He hoped he got to meet her soon.

“But Albus, we’re off track here. You don’t like me calling you asshole, because you already feel enough like an asshole for totally normal and forgivable things. Is there anything else?”  
“Umm – it feels distancing? As if you are denying your feelings for me when you do it. It – I know some people use it casually, but it feels – I feel more separate from you, rather than closer, when you say it.”  
“And what would you like me to call you? Besides Albus?”  
“I have no idea. Just –“  
“Not asshole. Ok. I can do that. I might sometimes screw up – but I’ll get better at it with time.  
“Any other burning issues?”  
“Well – there are brownies back in my room…”

That seemed to break the tension, because Gellert laughed.  
“Yes, definitely critical for us to address that right away. You want to head back now?”  
“If – are we ok?”  
“Yeah. I’m glad you said something. I’m ashamed that I didn’t notice that I was making you uncomfortable, but I’ll get over it.”  
“Ashamed is a strong word.”  
“Hmmm. Well. I have strong feelings, I guess, when it comes to you.”

“And – now it is critical to address how much I want to kiss you.”  
Gellert reached out, took Albus’ hand, and squeezed it, before dropping it quickly. Albus was used to Gellert’s discomfort with showing affection anywhere but in his room and on campus. He hoped that it would change one day, but for now…  
Gellert seemed to read his mind. “We’ll be back on campus in two minutes. And then another – eight or so to your room.”  
“I can make it to campus, but –“  
“But not to the room? Magnolia?”

There were some magnolia trees on the edge of campus – their branches reached to the ground all around, and together with the broad leaves, they formed walls. Each tree was something like a small private room, and this was not the first time Gellert and Albus had made use of one.  
They disappeared behind the branches, and Albus had his mouth on Gellert immediately. “God, I love you.” His hands drifted from Gellert’s hips to his ass. “I don’t want for you to be ashamed, or sorry. I just want you.”

His mouth descended on Gellert’s again, and Gellert had one hand on Albus’ shoulder, and one hand on the back of Albus’ head, and Albus was overcome with need. He reached for the button on Gellert’s jeans, and –  
“What – Albus – it’s broad daylight!“  
“But the tree – “  
“This tree only partly hides us.” Gellert took a half step back from Albus, and rebuttoned his jeans. “You can take off my pants in your room.”

Albus was not ready to let go of his fantasy of going down on Gellert under the magnolia tree.  
“Daylight… So, some time we could come out here at night, and – “  
Gellert paused. “Yeah, maybe.” He kicked at a leaf that was half covering a spent condom and wrinkled his nose. “Gross. Whatever we do out here, I am not putting any bare part of my body on the ground under this tree.”  
“That’s fair. So – back to my room?”  
Gellert took Albus’ hand. “Back to your room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So - wanting to be clear - Gellert is feeling annoyed that his Aunt is misdiagnosing him - or really trying to diagnose him at all, which she is not qualified to do. And in any case her 'treatment' regimen would likely not be sufficiently effective for most folks suffering from depression. He is feeling like his actual ailment is being ignored, and so he is going unseen. And, you know, being told what you can and can't eat is annoying.
> 
> I as the author will readily acknowledge that Gellert's sense that there are kinds of depression that are 'normal' and kinds that are not is... ignorant. Depression happens for all kinds of reasons - and no one reason is more valid than another. That said, there is still enough of a stigma around depression that Gellert may be trying to distance himself from his depressive episode.  
> Gellert's a smart guy, but there's a lot he isn't aware of.


	10. Bathilda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have never heard of Pauli Murray, I recommend Rosalind Rosenberg’s biography _Jane Crow_ \- or, if I’m being realistic, Wikipedia. As a for instance, Ruth Bader Ginsberg was friends with Pauli and cited Pauli as an influence. Etc etc etc (You might notice I’m not using any pronouns for Pauli - there are reasons for that which you will just have to research if you want to know why 😘)

Chapter 10  
Bathilda

Bathilda had been collecting the documents in a pile on her desk: first Gellert’s grades from the community college, then his diploma from the state board of education, and now, this afternoon she and Gellert would open his AP test results. He had come so far in such a short time. Coming from that cursed school… that he had learned anything in high school had been just shy of a miracle, the way he was treated. But these past three semesters under her supervision, he had made up for all that time lost and then some. Between AP exams and courses at the community college, he would be entering the University as a sophomore. 

Bathilda had been waiting for more than an hour. Gellert usually got off of work before 2 in the afternoon. Maybe he took a later shift? No, he would have written that on the calendar. Where could that boy…  
The front door opened.  
“No, I’m telling you Albus, Pauli Murray is the real hero of Brown vs. the Board of Education. Thurgood Marshall is great, but it never would have happened without… Aunt Bathilda!”  
Bathilda had come into the living room without Gellert noticing, and he had – that boy with him. Well, he certainly was attractive. She could see why Gellert was interested. But did the two of them actually have anything in common? Would Gellert even know how to tell if this boy was taking advantage of him?  
They were spending too much time together. She worried Gellert would come to rely on him too much, and then when it ended... would he even know how to function without this boy?

“Gellert. I thought you would be home earlier.”  
“Sorry, Aunt Bathilda. I thought you weren’t going to be home this afternoon.”  
His boyfriend was looking uncomfortable. Good. At least he had some sense.  
“You didn’t get my text then.”  
Gellert pulled out his phone and winced.  
“I – ummm. I had it on do not disturb when I was working. And then Albus and I… Oh! Aunt Bathilda, this is Albus Dumbledore. Albus, this is Aunt – uh – Dr. Bagshot.”

“Dr. Bagshot. Nice to meet you.”  
“Nice to meet you, too, Albus. I am surprised I haven’t seen you before now.”  
Albus looked over at Gellert.  
“Your schedules don’t really line up, generally, Auntie.”  
Bathilda gave Gellert an ‘I don’t believe you, but we aren’t going to talk about this in front of company’ stare.

“So - Albus and I were planning to sit on the screen porch – I wanted to play something for him.”  
“I had some news, first.”  
“Oh?”  
“Can we talk in the kitchen?”  
“Sure. C’mon Albus.”  
Albus laughed. “I think she means just the two of you?”  
Gellert looked from Albus to his Aunt, who was smiling tightly. Gellert stood silently looking at the hallway that led to the kitchen, as if trying to decide something.

“I –“ Gellert looked at Albus, and grabbed his hand. “I’m just going to tell him anyway, whatever it is.”  
It was like that, then? Already? Bathilda had been afraid of that. How long had they been dating one another? She didn’t like that Gellert was so close to someone she didn’t know anything about, but she wasn’t going to argue about it now. She sighed heavily.  
“Alright. If that’s what you want. You two have a seat in here. I’ll be right back.”  
The past three semesters had been something that she and Gellert had done together. Was it asking too much to want to celebrate it just the two of them? Apparently it was. 

///////

The boys had been on the back porch for about an hour when Gellert reappeared in the kitchen.  
“I’m going to put my guitar back in my room, and make us a snack, and a bunch of other things… Can Albus stay for dinner?”  
“Gellert, I don’t see you much anymore. Can we have dinner just the two of us?”  
“Ok, but… I was thinking you and I could hang out just the two of us after dinner. Albus has homework.”  
“Homework?”  
“Oh. Yeah, he’s taking a few classes this summer. The engineering program is pretty intense. If he wants to take any liberal arts type electives, he has to fit them in some other way. So – summer school.”

Well, that was encouraging. He was more well-rounded than she had expected.  
“He read your Emma Goldman book, by the way. Like, way before he met me, so you don’t get any ideas about that.”  
Ideas? Oh. That he was doing it to impress her. That had not occurred to her.  
“Alright. He can stay for dinner. And not just because you said he read my book,” she said with a wink and a smile.  
“Great. Thank you!”  
He gave Bathilda a kiss on the cheek and darted up the stairs.

Bathilda opened the backdoor and walked out onto the porch. The boy – no, Albus – was reading Hamlet and scribbling in a notebook.  
“Shakespeare?” she asked.  
He wrote a couple more words before looking up. “Politics of Shakespeare. We are situating the plays in the political context in which they were written, and trying to pull out the extent to which they were written as a kind of propaganda, supporting the status quo, and to what extent they may have been encoding subversive messages.”  
Interesting. A bit overdone, but what could he possibly know about that? For him it was new and exciting, and she wasn’t going to take that away from him.  
But however protective she was now feeling about Albus as a student, she had another purpose in being outside with him. 

“How serious are you about Gellert?”  
Albus smiled. “You don’t mess around, do you? Quite serious.”  
“And by quite serious, you mean –“  
“I mean that I anticipate that you will be getting to know me well, because I intend to be here next year, and the year after that, and so on, for as long as he’ll have me.”  
Bathilda had seen this before, plenty of times. College professors saw a lot more of their students’ lives than the students probably realized. And very few freshman year romances went anywhere good.

“Albus, I’m not sure that you know Gellert well enough to say that.”  
In fact, she was sure that he did not know Gellert well enough.  
“You know, Gellert is quite difficult, and has a number of issues. Has he told you –“  
“Stop. I don’t mean any disrespect, Dr. Bagshot, but whatever it is you were about to say, it is really up to Gellert to tell me.”  
“I just want to make sure that you understand –“

“Make sure he understands what, Aunt Bathilda?” Gellert asked in a hard and quiet voice.  
She hadn’t noticed that Gellert had opened the door to the screen porch.  
“Have you told him about your depression?”  
Gellert rested his face in his hand.  
“For the last time, I have not been diagnosed with depression. I have PTSD. And yes, Albus knows all about it.”  
Bathilda couldn’t help but look stunned. There was no need for him to speak to her that way in front of a guest. And it _was_ depression. Sitting in that dark room playing sad songs on his guitar.

“Well, I suppose you don’t need me out here. I will go make dinner.”  
Albus looked up, as if he were ready to say something, but Gellert looked at him and shook his head, so Albus looked down at his now closed book.  
“Thank you, Auntie. Let us know when dinner is ready.”  
Bathilda went back inside. She peeked out the window, and saw them lean up against one another, talk animatedly to one another. Gellert spotted her and rolled his eyes, then opened his book and started reading. Albus seemed like a nice boy, but it wasn’t going to last. He was going to find Gellert too difficult to handle soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gellert is not sitting in the dark, nor are all the songs he plays 'sad.' Bathilda is just worried enough to be exaggerating.  
> Not that singing sad songs in the dark is anything like a sufficient basis for diagnosing... anything really 🙄  
> Poor Bathilda - she’s brilliant, but nevertheless out of her depth here


	11. Gellert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day after Gellert moves into the dorms

“Can I hang this up here?” Jay asked.  
Gellert didn’t even look up. “Yeah, wherever. Seriously. You can do whatever you want to the walls in here. I didn’t bring anything.”  
“Yeah, alright.”  
Gellert was getting his desk organized, again. Anything to stop thinking about Albus.  
“Dude. Your desk is fine. I was serious about being ok with you playing your guitar. I mean, not telling you what to do or anything, but – there’s only so many different places you can put that lamp.”

Albus hadn’t called last night, which made sense – the game was late, and he didn’t know what Gellert might be doing. ‘Spend the day getting to know your new roommate,’ Albus had said before leaving early that morning. ‘Move in day is a big deal. Enjoy the circus.’  
Albus had texted early this morning, and had been checking in periodically since then, but it was a long drive, and they might not make it back until almost dinner time. And he had to pack up his summer room still – the returning students’ move-in day was tomorrow.  
“You’re sure you don’t mind?”  
“Yeah. If you don’t mind having an audience.”  
Gellert did mind. Usually he played by himself. Or for Albus, now. Already, having a roommate seemed to be an exercise in perpetual discomfort. Maybe it got better? Albus and Elphias seemed to do alright.  
“We can give it a try.”

Gellert picked up his acoustic guitar and carried it over to his bed. He began playing. Every once in a while, he’d stop, play the last line again, change it a little.  
“I don’t know that one.”  
“That’s good,” Gellert laughed. “That means I probably didn’t steal it from someone.”  
“You wrote that?”  
“Probably better to say I’m writing it. It’s not quite done.”  
He had a few more days left to get it right – he wanted to give Albus a song for his birthday.  
“I like it.”  
“Thanks.”

Gellert went back to working on the song, while Jay hung a couple more posters. As he was hanging up the last one, the first ones peeled off the wall and fell to the floor.  
“Gaaah! What the hell?”  
“Yeah, tape doesn’t work on painted cinderblock,” came a voice from the doorway. Albus! “They sell some foul green sticky stuff in the campus bookstore that works pretty well, if you don’t mind permanently staining the backs of your posters.”  
Gellert was smiling like a loon, but holding himself back from running up to him in front of Jay.

“May I come in?”  
Gellert laughed. “No, you have to stand out there all day. How dare you not prepare me for how busy soccer season is?”  
“Ah – you must be the boyfriend. I’m Jay.”  
“Albus.”  
“Well, Albus, you can come in and visit me, even if Gellert is content for you to stand out in the hall.”  
“Right. Albus, this is Jay – he’s my roommate. And Jay –“  
“Yeah, I think we’ve done that part, Gellert.”  
“Right – “

They were all silent for a bit, Albus smiling, Gellert looking about ready to bolt, and Jay standing between the two of them, a friendly but nonetheless unwanted buffer.  
“Right, well – I think I’m going to go do some laundry.”  
Gellert was confused. “But - we’ve only been here 24 hours.”  
Jay rolled his eyes. “Ok, Gellert. I’m going to go buy ‘green sticky stuff’ then. Nice meeting you, Albus. Gellert – you’ve got 30 minutes.”  
Jay walked out and closed the door behind him.

Albus looked something between confused and delighted. “You’re – out to your roommate already! You told him about me. You –“  
Gellert made it to Albus in three steps and nearly knocked him over with the force of his hug. “Later. We’ll talk about it later. I missed you.”  
Albus bent down to kiss him, coaxing Gellert’s tongue into his mouth. Gellert could taste the strawberry soda Albus had been drinking. He pulled back. “You have the worst eating habits of anyone I know. How are you so built? It makes no sense whatsoever.”  
“I’m going to focus on the part where you complimented my body, and skip over the bit where you were giving me a hard time about road eating,” Albus said with a smile. “God, it’s good to see you. I’ve never been so impatient on the bus before.”

Albus began kissing Gellert’s neck while walking him back towards his bed.  
“I love you… Excruciating… Need you…”  
“Wait – Albus. Jay seems cool, but – he did set a ‘clothes on’ rule for when you visit the room – or for if he has someone in here – so that we don’t walk in on anything.”  
Albus groaned. “Noooo….. Ok, well, I’ve got one last night in that single room. Come stay with me tonight?”  
“Yeah. Let’s say 8:30? Jay and I agreed to go shoot pool after dinner with another couple of guys from down the hall. I don’t want to bail on them.”  
“Yes, ok.”  
“Really ok?”  
“It’s good for you to meet the other guys on your hall. And I know that you’ll make time for me.”  
“Always. Now it looks like we’ve still got twenty minutes left. Let’s make good use of _this_ time.”

Gellert gave Albus a gentle push, and he got into bed with Gellert on top of him.  
Albus grabbed Gellert’s ass, pulling him down roughly, then moving his own hips in a vaguely circular motion, dragging their erections against one another firmly, but oh so slowly.  
“Uuuungh,” Gellert moaned. “You are just going to – frustrate us both.”  
Albus pulled Gellert down and kissed him tenderly. “I hope so.” Before long, he began kissing Gellert more urgently, pushing them apart only just enough to run his hand up and down Gellert’s cock through his jeans. “I want you thinking about me, wanting me, needing me…”  
That was all well and good, but blue balls were no fun, and now that he was sharing a room with someone, he was going to have to take a shower in order to have a place to jerk off.  
Still. For now this felt - "So - good - Albus!"

“Tonight –“  
“Uuuuhhh – huh?”  
“Tonight – I think maybe we are ready to put that lube to a new use.”  
“Aaaah!” Gellert grabbed Albus’ hand and pulled it away. “Do not make me come in my pants – I don’t know that I have time to change.” He sat back on his heels. “You mean it?”  
“You still want to?”  
Gellert laid back down on Albus and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “So much.” He looked at Albus, and all the breath was sucked right out of him. Albus. In him. Tonight. “I love you. I –“

There was a knock at the door. Gellert got up and pulled Albus up with him. They both quickly straightened their clothes, neatened each other’s hair.  
“Yeah?”  
Jay came in the door, looked between the two of them and smirked.  
“You were right about the 'green stuff,' Albus. Hopefully this will do it.”  
“It should.” Gellert followed Albus’ gaze as he looked around at the rest of the posters laying around the room. Gellert had been too preoccupied to notice them falling.

“So, Jay – Gellert told me you’re a psych major?”  
That would be good for 20 minutes of excited rambling. Asking was just Albus being Albus, and Gellert loved him for his Albus-ness, but – he was also glad that Albus was endearing himself to Jay – it would make things much easier for them.  
As Jay wound down, Albus made his excuses.  
“It was nice meeting you, Jay. I need to start packing for tomorrow, so I have to run, but we’ll see each other again soon, I’m sure.”  
Albus stood.

Jay slapped himself in the face. “I’m a moron – I have talked only about myself and didn’t ask you anything – not even how the game was.”  
Albus smiled at Jay so brightly that Gellert might have been jealous if he hadn’t seen Albus smile that way at perfect strangers, and trees, and fountains, and – well – produce misters.  
“The game was perfectly ordinary. I stood on the sidelines nearly the whole time while my roommate Elphias ran himself ragged to good effect. We won by 1 goal, scored in the last five minutes of the game. But it was an exhibition game, so it isn’t going to count for anything but a morale boost going into the regular season. And now I have summarized an hour and a half of my life, without reference, of course, to the hours and hours of travel time, and being lectured to, and all of the other accessories to the game itself.” Then Albus paused, and remembered to add, “Thank you for asking.”  
Gellert huffed out a nearly suppressed laugh.  
Albus turned to him and asked, “See you tonight?”

Albus was letting him take the lead here in front of Jay. Gellert felt overwhelmed, washed over with love for Albus _again_. He reached up and took Albus’ hand and squeezed it. If Jay wasn’t here… but he was, and Gellert didn’t want to push it. It was too early to know what Jay was _truly_ comfortable with, and Gellert had to live with him. Had to feel safe enough to fall asleep in the same room with him. And anyway, tonight…  
“Tonight. I’ll text if I’m running late.”  
Albus walked out the door. 

Gellert turned back to Jay. “Want to get these posters up before dinner time? I can help you.”  
“I am so sick of hanging up posters. I know I should get them off the floor, but – I need a break. Maybe we could take a walk? You could show me around campus? I almost got lost on the way to the bookstore, and I’d actually been there before. But you had said something about a convenience store? And a post office? And an arboretum?”  
Gellert checked his phone. “We have time to get to the gate of the arboretum and back before dinner, but not to explore in there at all. It’s great to know about, though, if you need to get away from campus and just be outdoors. Or we could do the practical stuff. But not both.”  
“Nothing more practical than trees. Why don’t you show me how to get to the arboretum?”


	12. Albus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Albus tells a story about his parents which is very violent, but not graphically so.
> 
> And Gellert makes the mistake of making fun of Taylor Swift.

Chapter Twelve  
Albus

Elphias was the first to notice Gellert standing in their doorway.  
“Oh no. He has the guitar,” Elphias said, smiling.  
There were two reasons for the ‘oh no.’ The first was a facetious ‘oh no’ - when Gellert brought his guitar to their room (as opposed to when he was playing alone, or in his room, or just with Albus), his purpose was to entertain. Albus was grateful that Gellert had come out of his shell enough to be playful around him – and even around Elphias and Jay and a few new friends. Albus had wanted that from the very beginning – that Gellert could feel safe enough to unleash that part of him around people older than six. But – reason number two was a very real ‘oh no’ - playful Gellert was so engaging that there was absolutely no hope of getting any studying done when he brought his guitar around.

“I’ve learned some Taylor Swift.”  
Elphias started laughing so hard his eyes began to water.  
“It was difficult, because a lot of her songs have only nominal guitar parts, so I had to work it out, write some stuff myself, but – “  
Elphias was hyperventilating. Albus did not see what was so funny. This was sweet, right? Of Gellert? To learn some of his favorite songs?  
No, who was he kidding? Gellert had an agenda here.

Albus sighed. “Well, let’s get this indignity over with.”  
Gellert bent down and kissed him gently. “Is that any way to talk to your adoring boyfriend?”  
“We shall see,” said Albus, skeptically.  
Gellert went over to Elphias, who seemed to have calmed down considerably.  
“I don't think that Albus is wanting to be near me at the moment. Can I sit here with you?”

Gellert and Elphias had been on friendly terms since nearly the beginning – when Elphias had kept them from breaking up over Albus’ admittedly ill-considered texts. They apparently had continued texting all through the summer, and now into the semester. Albus was usually grateful for this amity between them, but at the moment, he was feeling a bit ganged up on.  
Gellert removed his guitar from the case and began playing. Was that - ?  
“Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago…”  
Oh God. No. And he was singing it far too gleefully.  
“… Pretends he doesn’t know that he’s the reason why…”  
The way Gellert was singing put the lyrics in sharp relief against the music. And the way his head was bobbing around could not be described as anything but mocking. Albus was hating him just a little for pulling apart one of his favorite songs.  
“… Trouble, trouble, trouble”

Elphias took one look at Albus’ face and shoved his laptop and a couple of books into his backpack.  
“Trouble is right. I will be in the library, if either of you needs me after – whatever this is.” And he left.

Albus waited until the door closed behind Elphias to turn to Gellert.  
“What. Was that.”  
“That was Taylor –“  
Son of a bitch.  
“Obviously, Gellert. But why? What is it you were hoping to achieve?”

“Umm – the lyrics?” Gellert said, a bit hesitantly, as if he had just now figured out that his performance might not have been a good idea. “Have you noticed how most of her lyrics are about not being able to trust people?”  
That was not fair. Not most – just, ok, a lot of them, but not most.  
“And Elphias had said –“  
“Elphias…” Albus growled. The traitor. Albus took out his phone.  
“Do not text Elphias _while I’m talking to you_. You can yell at him later.”  
Albus continued to hold his phone but didn’t unlock it.  
“Elphias said that you hadn’t been in a relationship before me because you didn’t want any kind of commitment. And I wondered why, and I was thinking that maybe it is that you don’t trust people, and I wondered why you decided to trust me when you didn’t know anything about me. It doesn’t make sense.”

Albus sighed."It wasn't that I couldn't trust people, Gellert.”  
“So what was it?”  
“Would you rather I had been in a relationship with someone else before you? Just - drop it.”  
“Albus. You had a _policy_ of not sleeping with anyone more than once. I - need to know what makes me different. Because - what if I'm not different after all, and you -”  
"You're worried I'm going to leave you."  
"I'm worried I don't know you well enough to know whether I should be worried or not."

“Correlation is not causation. It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault.”  
“I actually do understand that, Albus,” Gellert said, annoyed. “What I’m asking is whose fault is it?”  
This conversation was overdue. He had imagined it over and over. So many times he had started to tell Gellert, and then just – hadn’t. He still didn’t know where to begin.

"Listen. Love isn't safe. And so it seemed best not to put myself or anyone else at risk. But with you - I don't know, I couldn't help it. It seemed possible I could love you the first day I saw you, and - there wasn't any protecting myself - it didn't seem possible to fight it. And I didn't want to, which was unexpected."  
"And by 'not safe,' you mean like how we felt when I thought you were breaking up with me?"

Fuck. There wasn’t any easy way to say this.  
"By 'not safe' I mean people can justify all sorts of things. People can - Gellert, my father, he was – not a good man. He was violent, he was – I’m not sure that I want to get into the details of it, but he was into some illegal shit. Mom got scared, and I’m sure she agonized over it - she loved my father, she had always loved him - but eventually, she turned him in. And a year later, when he finally went to trial, he managed to get off, and he came straight to our house and killed her.”  
“Shit, Albus.”  
“It’s not as simple as you’re probably thinking. My father said that he loved my mother. That she’d betrayed his trust. It wasn’t just that she was attached to him. He was attached to her, too. He loved her, and, in his mind, that was _why_ he killed her. His justification. He thought that if she had really loved him as much as he loved her, she never would have turned him in.”

“I was – we were there. Me and my younger brother and sister. I was ten.”  
Albus had come to see what the shouting was about, and the other two had followed him. He could still see little Ariana lying on the floor, having been accidentally shot while trying to stop their father's yelling. Could still feel Aberforth straining in his arms as he held him back from going after her. His father cradling his mother on the floor, weeping and screaming at her.  
Love. His parents had loved each other, Ariana had loved their parents, Aberforth had loved Ariana... And what had it gotten any of them?

"Albus - " Gellert stopped before saying anything more, which was – probably good. What could he say that would be helpful? That wouldn’t piss Albus off?  
Except – “I’m sorry about the song.”  
“You should be. That was low.”  
Gellert put away his guitar. 

“I have been wanting to tell you, but I also didn’t want to tell you, because – it’s just so fucked up.”  
“I told you my most fucked up story –“  
“Yeah, but would you have? If you hadn’t had that flashback?”  
Gellert was silent. Probably thinking about whether he would have or not. Or psychoanalyzing Albus. Hopefully the former. Albus did not need any sort of simpleminded picking apart of why he had slept with so many people. It was simple math - if you want to have sex, then you have to have sex with more people if you don't want to have sex with any of them more than once.

“I don’t know. I mean, eventually, yes. On that particular day? I don’t know.” Gellert paused. “You look angry that you told me.”  
“What? Oh. No, I’m angrily imagining what you must think of me.”  
“What I must think of you? More like what I think of _me_. I’m thinking that I should have let you tell me when you were ready - that I shouldn't have pushed this.”  
“Yeah, probably not.” 

That wasn’t completely fair. After all, it had come up not out of idle curiosity, but because Gellert was scared. He wasn’t the one to bring up Albus’ parents. He didn’t know it was going to go that way.  
“But – I don’t want you to be afraid I'm going to push you away. I need to have you in my life more than I need to – listen, yes, loving you feels dangerous sometimes, but it’s worth it. You’re worth it. Worth the risk. And I'm starting to feel like maybe the risk is not as great as I had imagined. Neither of us seems to me like the type to kill their partner, so –“  
“Yeah, I can definitely promise not to kill you.”  
Albus laughed weakly. “Yeah, me too. ‘Til death do us part’ but not by each other’s hands.”

“God, Albus, did we just get married?” Gellert said, with a hesitant smile. “Because I’m thinking it’s a little soon for that.”  
Albus smiled and held out his hand. “Get over here, asshole.”  
“If I can’t call you asshole, then it hardly seems fair –“  
“I get to call you asshole at least once after you desecrated that song. Asshole.”  
Gellert laughed and crossed over to Albus’ bed, taking Albus' hand. “I’m forgiven then?”  
“Yeah, I get it. You were desperate, and I hadn’t been exactly forthcoming.”  
“You put up a good front.”  
That was probably true.

“Lie with me here?”  
“Yeah. Soon as I get my shoes off.”  
“I love you, you know?”  
“I do know. I love you too.”  
What did it mean to love one another? How might they hurt one another anyway?  
Whatever it meant, they weren’t his parents. He had to believe that they were going to be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So - originally this fic had even more Taylor Swift in it, but now she is confined just to this chapter and to the earlier one in which Gellert had his flashback.  
> The other bits I had didn't work all that well. For instance - Gellert would not be caught dead at karaoke night, regardless of how much Albus begged him.


	13. Gellert

Chapter Thirteen  
Gellert

Albus appeared at breakfast just as Gellert was finishing. Albus set down his tray beside Gellert’s and as soon as he sat, gave him a light kiss.  
“Good morning! Do you know what today is?”  
“Tuesday. Wait, no. Game day. 7pm at home.”  
“Well, yes, but something more important than that.”  
“I’m glad your coach isn’t here to hear that. Christ, I’m glad Elphias isn’t here to hear that.”  
“Isn’t here to hear what?” Elphias asked, walking up to the table.  
“Albus thinks –“

Albus kicked Gellert under the table.  
“Ow!”  
“Serves you right, traitor… What I was going to say is that today is our five month anniversary.”  
“It most certainly is not! That isn’t for at least two more weeks.”  
“I count it from when we saw each other in the grocery store.”  
Elphias rolled his eyes. “Of course you do.”

Gellert squeezed Albus’ leg. “You kept track of the date of when you saw me?”  
“Why wouldn’t I have?”  
“Well – you couldn’t have known – “  
Elphias was making a slashing motion across his neck.  
“Ooookay then. It’s our anniversary, I guess.”

“We can celebrate our arboretum anniversary in a couple of weeks,” Albus conceded, “But tonight –“  
“Tonight’s the game, Albus,” Elphias reminded him.  
“I have not forgotten that. I was just thinking that after the game…”  
“When you are completely worn out and just wanting to go to bed.”  
“Yes, it is exhausting watching everyone else play.”  
“Albus, you get way more game time than you admit to,” Elphias said. He sounded exasperated.  
That was true. Gellert had been going to the home games, and had been very surprised by how much he saw Albus out on the field, given how much he complained about being benched. That man had energy to burn. Gellert was not sure electrical engineering was the right choice for Albus – he was intelligent enough, obviously, but desk work? He was going to lose his mind.

“Whatever. After the game – wait for me.”  
Umm. Did Albus know him, like, at all?  
“I am not waiting alone outside of a locker room for anyone, even you, Albus.”  
Elphias raised an eyebrow, but Albus shook his head. Good, he hadn’t told him.  
“No, you’re right. I’m sorry. Umm. Where do you want to wait for me?”  
“In my room, in the library, in the food court… no wait, food court will be closed. In my room or the library.”  
“Library then. And –“

“No,” said Elphias. “Any more details you can work out over text or something. You will very soon come to something I don’t want to know and will not be able to unhear. I need to be able to look at both of you.”  
“Elphias! What exactly do you think that Albus and I get up to?” Gellert asked with a mischievous smile.  
“Just – no,” said Elphias. “Let me eat my breakfast in peace.”  
“Yes dear,” said Gellert, standing up, and reaching across the table to squeeze Elphias’ shoulder. “I need to get going anyway.”  
Then he bent down and kissed Albus. “I love you.”  
“I love you too. I’ll see you after the game.”

///////

The game resulted in the first draw of the year – Gellert had not seen a game go to double overtime before. It seemed possible that Elphias might be right – that Albus would be too tired for whatever he had planned after the extra time on the field, not to mention the emotional stress of the game. But instead of receiving a text explaining that he was not going to show, Albus practically bounced into the library, freshly showered, at 10:30pm. He slid into the chair across from Gellert, leaned forward, and whispered, “Sorry I’m late.”  
Given that they had never discussed an actual time, and Albus’ coach’s need to thoroughly dissect any game afterwards, Gellert had not expected to see Albus before 11.  
“I would forgive you, but I’m not sure that you have actually committed an offense.”

“Are you at a good stopping place?”  
Not really.  
“Almost. I just need to figure out which of these I’m checking out, and then clean up after myself a bit.”  
Albus’ leg started bouncing. He was excited about something. Dear Lord. Of course, it could be something relatively innocuous, like going out for waffles. But it could be –  
“This is one of the last warm nights, I’m thinking…” Albus whispered.  
Gellert looked around a bit anxiously. Then again, it wasn’t like anyone would know what Albus meant.  
“You – contain yourself. I’m going to check out these books. You can meet me _outside_ the library.”  
Albus sighed. “Yes, ok.”

It was a wonder Gellert was able to fit all of the books he needed into his backpack. This was his first college paper, and he wanted it to be impressive – he wanted to show his professor what he was capable of. But tonight was for Albus, and whatever reckless outdoor sex plan he had.  
“I should really take these books back to my room. I don’t know that I will be able to heft them over a chain-link fence inconspicuously.”  
“There’s no fence climbing involved, but we can stop by your room first.”  
No fence climbing. That ruled out the arboretum. That left – the magnolia tree, likely.

Gellert dropped off his books, and apologized to Jay that he would likely be back late.  
Back outside, Gellert asked, “So – magnolia tree?”  
“How did you guess?”  
How could he not guess.

“How sure are you that we won’t be caught? Because this is the sort of thing that might get you kicked off the team.”  
“Not likely. I scored the winning goal twice this season.”  
Gellert rubbed his face. If he had thought that Albus was immune to jock entitlement…  
“We can discuss that later. But ok. And you realize that if we don’t want to be caught, we’re going to have to be even quieter than usual, and we can’t take our time about it…”

“We obviously won’t do anything you don’t want to, Gellert.“  
They were at the tree by now, and Albus pulled him in behind him.  
“Kissing you is enough – your mouth is amazing,” Albus continued, pulling Gellert into his arms and nipping at his lips until Gellert opened and let him in. Albus kissed Gellert breathless, then said, “I just can’t stop thinking about taking you in my mouth here. I think about it every time I pass this tree. I think about kneeling on the ground in front of you, and unzipping your pants and – “

Gellert tipped his head back and groaned. “Yes. Ok, yes. How could I not want that?”  
“Oh God. I didn’t really think you’d say yes.” Albus kissed Gellert again, thoroughly, passionately, as if it had been days instead of minutes since he had kissed him last. He kissed his neck, and licked his ear, and whispered, “I love you, Gellert Grindelwald. So much.”  
It seemed almost immediately Albus was on his knees in front of him. He pushed up Gellert’s shirt and kissed his belly. “This patch of hair around your belly button? I love it. I get turned on every time I see it. You just start to pull your shirt off, and – God, you’re sexy.”

Albus unbuttoned Gellert’s pants, pulled down the zipper, and pushed down his pants just a few inches.  
Gellert was so hard that it was not easy to pull his cock through the opening in his briefs.  
As Albus sucked his cock slowly into his mouth, Gellert bit his hand to remind himself not to make noise. The pain of biting his hand, the pleasure of Albus’ warm, wet mouth, the danger of being outside on campus – it was almost enough to make him come right away. But he wanted to enjoy it for longer than 30 seconds so he removed his hand from his mouth, touched Albus’ shoulder, and told him, “Don’t let me come. Not yet.”

Albus removed his mouth and smiled. He gave Gellert a slow lick. Then another. He continued in this way, working his mouth up and down Gellert’s shaft until he was close, and then removing his mouth to stimulate Gellert in other ways. Until finally, “I want you to come in my mouth this time. Let me taste you. Now.”

Albus wrapped one arm around Gellert’s ass, to pull him in closer, as he took Gellert as deeply as he could, massaging his balls through his briefs with the other hand. It was all Gellert could do to keep himself from screaming as his orgasm tore through him. Afterwards, he could barely stand.  
“Albus – “ he said weakly. “Please –“

Albus licked Gellert clean and tucked him away, zipping and buttoning his pants before he stood. He held Gellert close. “Here I am. I’m here.”  
“That was – I so do not want to lay down under this tree, but…”  
Albus smiled.  
“How about I hold you here for a minute, and then we can find somewhere else nearby to sit?”  
Yes, but where?  
It didn’t matter where. He was beyond caring. Albus’ fantasy was making Gellert come? This man was amazing, and Gellert was not letting him go.


	14. Elphias

Chapter Fourteen  
Elphias

“You haven’t dated anyone in a while.”  
Why was Albus bringing this up now, on a bus after midnight?  
“No…”  
“There was Cassie, about a year ago…”  
“Soccer. She refused to believe that I was actually this busy. She insisted that I was using it as an excuse to avoid her.”  
“Right – I remember. But no one since then? You haven’t been, I don’t know…”  
“Somehow dating people without you noticing? No. Congratulations, you are not an oblivious fuck.”  
That sounded more combative than he meant it to. But it was late, dammit.

“Elphias –“  
“I’m not going to go to the trouble unless it seems like it might go somewhere. And the more breakups I have, the better I get at noticing warning signs before getting started, so – yeah, it’s been a year, Albus. This had better not be a prelude to ‘I have someone I want you to meet.’ Because I’m not looking to be set up with someone.”  
Elphias was really not interested in talking about it. Even with Albus. Maybe especially with Albus – fucking everything on two legs and then just lucking into a functional relationship with someone who adored him on his first try.  
Christ. That was not fair. Or completely accurate. Elphias was too exhausted for this conversation. Albus had the energy of a puppy. Normally Elphias liked that, but right now it was annoying.  
Albus laughed. “Yeah, no. I wouldn’t know where to begin finding a girl for you.”

“I’m fine, Albus. I don’t need a girlfriend, I don’t want to talk about ex-girlfriends, and I haven’t been keeping a secret girlfriend. Now let me sleep.”  
Elphias turned to look out the window. A few minutes passed.  
“You never sleep on the bus.”  
Elphias sighed. “No, you’re right. I just don’t want to talk about why I’m not dating.”  
“Ok.”  
Albus was silent for all of thirty seconds.

“Do you want to talk about high school?”  
“No.”  
“Your family?”  
“We covered that.”  
“Movies you’ve seen recently?”  
“When would I have had time to watch a movie?”  
They had run out of things to talk about. And no wonder. They had been on a bus together four hours this morning, and were entering hour three of the return trip. But Albus got sick reading on the bus, and he was too social to sit there quietly thinking. It was already asking too much of him to not be pacing up and down the aisle. 

“It has been weeks since you’ve complained to me about being too short for rowing.”  
‘Too short.’ That should get him going.  
“Too short?! It’s not like being 6’1” makes me a hobbit! Just two more inches would have been enough. Coach said that he was worried at first that I would be _too tall_ for soccer - he almost didn't bother sending someone to see me play because of my height! Three sports in high school! Three! All three of my coaches said I was performing at the collegiate level, but being 'too short' of all things kept me from even being considered for two of them here, and being 'too tall' almost disqualified me from the third."  
"It seems better to be playing soccer rather than nothing at all."  
"But rowing is _so meditative_ , Elphias. The rhythm of it. Being out on the water.”  
Would it tone Albus down a bit if he found something meditative to do with his time? Somehow, Elphias doubted it. He imagined Albus leaping from a moving scull onto dry land the first moment he got, talking excitedly.

“Nothing’s stopping you from getting a one-man scull.”  
“Yes," Albus agreed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Nothing but thousands of dollars. True.”  
“Besides, the good thing about soccer is that the season is so compact. You’re finished before the semester ends, and then you have the Spring semester off.”  
“Or – that’s the bad thing about soccer. A year-round season means that you never get out of condition. And you’re not over-exerting yourself trying to cram everything into a couple of months. Another thing. With rowing, all of your muscles are engaged. Your upper body is automatically getting a workout. You almost don’t have to make any extra effort. But soccer, obviously…”

Elphias suppressed his laughter so that he wouldn’t derail Albus. The trip would go faster the longer he could keep Albus talking about the many ways in which rowing was superior to soccer. But seriously? Albus was dangerously close to sounding like he preferred rowing because it made it easier for him to look good with his shirt off. Normally Elphias would tease Albus about it, but right now he would rather drift on the unending stream of Albus' words. Just one more hour.

///////

It was two in the morning when the bus arrived on campus, and another 30 minutes before arriving back at the dorms.  
“I can’t believe that coach didn’t think it was necessary to spend the night,” Albus complained.  
Elphias had forgotten how whiny Albus got when he was tired. He had been ceaselessly complaining about one thing or another ever since Elphias had gotten him started on rowing.

“I guess since there were no classes tomorrow…”  
“Maybe so, but we have another game in three days. I could have used a full night’s sleep.”  
“You would have been up half the night anyway,” Elphias pointed out.  
Albus was still complaining as Elphias unlocked the door.  
“I’m just saying that –“

Elphias held up his hand. “Quiet, Albus. You’ll wake Gellert.”  
“Gellert?” asked Albus happily, craning his neck to peek past his roommate into the room. Elphias stepped aside with a sigh.  
“Look, Elphias! He’s in my bed! And he has one of my shirts!”  
Elphias had spotted that right away. Gellert was clinging to one of Albus’ t-shirts in his sleep. It had likely been removed from the laundry basket – which was to say, it likely smelled very much like sweaty post-run Albus. Elphias was going to stand by his early assessment that Gellert’s sense of smell was defective.  
“Yes, yes, he’s adorable. Now where are _you_ going to sleep?”  
“You’re kidding! I’m going to get in there with him, of course.”  
Albus was too big for these little dorm beds on his own. But together with Gellert? The two of them had shared Albus’ bed a couple of times before, but Elphias did not understand how they managed it. It couldn’t be comfortable. Or easy.

“Ok, well, I’m grabbing my shower things, and heading to the bathroom.”  
“You took a shower before we left.”  
“Yeah, but – I smell like the bus now. I hate it. Anyway. Twenty minutes. You can wake him up, do whatever you need to do to say hello, but I am going to need to be in bed starting to sleep in twenty minutes. And I don’t appreciate it when you have sex when I’m in the room.”  
“When have I - ?”  
Elphias gave Albus a look.  
“Oh, well – we’ve only ever done it when you were asleep.”

“These are the squeakiest beds on earth, Albus. There is no sleeping when you are doing anything other than sleeping yourself.”  
Albus looked embarrassed.  
“Oh. Right. Sorry about that.”  
Elphias rolled his eyes. “It’s fine, just – don’t do it again, please.”  
“Yeah, ok,” said Albus, his eyes darting over to Gellert again, his smile reappearing.

Elphias grabbed his towel and soap.  
“Go ahead and greet your adorable boyfriend.”  
Elphias left. He didn’t really care about the bus smell, but he knew that Gellert was likely to be effusive in his welcome, and too sleepy to register that Elphias was there too. Elphias walked out to the common room and checked his phone. 

In the morning, Elphias woke on the common room sofa, his towel folded up under his head, the blanket off his bed wrapped around him, and more than a dozen texts on his phone – all from Albus.  
3:01: All clear – you can come back now  
3:05: Elphias?  
3:06: You didn’t find some girl and run away with her, did you?  
3:06: I never had the chance to set you up with someone  
3:07: Just kidding  
3:14: Did you fall asleep in the shower?  
3:14: That’s not possible is it?  
3:29: Do you have any idea how much sex I could have been having if I had known you weren’t going to come back?  
3:29: Don’t worry. I’m not going to enumerate  
3:30: Probably  
3:45: I am starting to worry now. Text me  
3:48: Dammit Elphias  
3:52: I am coming to look for you  
3:53: If I wake Gellert climbing over him, I’m blaming you  
4:01: [Photo of Elphias sleeping in common room, curled up on sofa, no blanket]  
4:01: Now who’s adorable?  
4:02: Note how you are holding your bottle of body wash like it’s a stuffed animal  
4:10: See you in the morning  
4:10: Later this morning  
4:10: When you wake up  
4:11: Knock first

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that maybe Albus can't sit silently on the bus not so much because he is 'too social' as because he is afraid of where his mind will go if he gives it free rein. But since Elphias doesn't know the things that Albus is afraid of thinking about... Albus comes off as an extrovert on a couple of bottles of 5-hour energy.


	15. Albus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...  
> I kind of feel like this is a better ending than chapter 18, so feel free to stop reading after this chapter, LOL -
> 
> Or - you can keep reading to see the ending I put on the ending I put on the ending.  
> Because, having both written and promised 3 more chapters, I am going to stubbornly post them.

Chapter Fifteen  
Albus

“Are you sure you want me to come? You could just borrow my car…”  
“Honestly, Elphias. Gellert and I do more than have sex.” And anyway, it was too cold outside tonight for sex. Not the point. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but it would be fun to have you along.”  
It seemed like he and Elphias had had this exact mini-conversation at least five times already. Maybe Elphias was just wanting to sleep instead of stay up and watch meteors. He hoped it wasn’t that he was starting to feel unwelcome. 

“When’s Gellert supposed to be here?” Elphias asked.  
Albus checked his phone. Strange.  
“An hour ago. And I don’t have any messages from him.”  
“When’s the last time he texted?”  
“This morning, to say he wouldn’t be at breakfast. I’m going to text him now.”

There was little for Albus and Elphias to do other than wait for Gellert to text back. They had collected everything: blankets and snacks and water bottles and hats. Elphias suggested that they make a ranked list of what schoolwork needed to be completed over Thanksgiving break. But even after that, Gellert still hadn’t texted back.  
“Do you have Jay’s number?”  
“No. Fuck.”  
Why didn’t he have Jay’s number? He should.

“Did you guys argue or something?”  
“No! Look –“  
Albus handed over his phone, and Elphias scrolled through the texts.  
“Hold on there! Don’t go too far back – you might –“  
Elphias closed his eyes, grit his teeth and handed Albus’ phone back.  
“See something I don’t want to see? Yeah. Thanks for the warning.”

Where could Gellert be?  
“Something about this doesn’t feel right to me. I’m going to walk over to his dorm. Come on.”  
“Albus, I’m not sure –“  
Albus was not about to go off in search of a missing boyfriend alone. No. Elphias was his best friend, and thereby honor-bound to accompany him.  
“Elphias, please.”  
Don’t make me say I’m worried. Don’t make me say I’m worried.  
“Yeah, ok, let’s go.”

Jay looked surprised to see Albus when he opened the door to the room. It was dark inside, Albus noticed – a single desk lamp was on, but the overhead was off.  
“I’m sorry, Jay – I didn’t wake you, did I?”  
“No, I’m not the one who’s sleeping.”  
“Huh. Ok. I – Gellert had plans with us tonight, and he wasn’t answering his phone…”

“Did Gellert not tell you that he’s sick? I told him to tell you.”  
“Noooo….” Gellert’s voice came from inside the room. “Go away, Albus. I’ll just get you sick.”  
Jay turned towards Gellert’s bed, “Fine to get me sick, though, is it? Very nice. I am getting your boyfriend’s phone number right now so I can text him when you are being an idiot.”  
“You suck,” Gellert groaned. 

Albus still hadn’t seen him. He exchanged information with Jay, and pushed into the room, Elphias trailing behind him.  
“You had to know I’d come for you. We were supposed to go see the meteor shower tonight.”  
“Oh no – that’s tonight?” Gellert closed his eyes and rolled over, tugging on the blanket. Albus put his hand on the back of Gellert’s neck – it was sweaty and very very hot. He bent down to kiss Gellert’s forehead (also far too hot), and walked over to Jay.  
“When did this start?”  
“He said he had a sore throat – yesterday morning I think? But he went to all his classes. He was starting to feel headachy and hot behind the eyes last night, then woke up this morning achy and exhausted. He’s been sleeping on and off all day.”  
Albus sighed. “Now that you have my number, text me next time. He had his spleen removed a couple of years ago, so – it’s a little more serious if he gets sick. Or it can be.”  
“Shit. I didn’t know.”  
“Don’t worry about it. Not your responsibility. But now you do know, so.”

Gellert was probably going to be pissed off that he had told Jay. But if Gellert wasn’t going to take better care of himself than this, what choice did he have?  
“Can you go see if your RA has a thermometer? I need to see if I’m taking Gellert to the hospital now, or if I can wait until the clinic opens at 7:30 tomorrow morning.”  
No thermometer.  
Elphias looked at Albus. “Hospital?”  
“Hospital.” 

///////

While Gellert and Albus waited for Elphias to make it back with the car (it was a long walk to the residential students’ lot), they argued.  
“It’s just a cold or something, Albus.”  
“Your fever is too high for that, Gellert.”  
“We don’t know how high it is.”  
“It’s high enough for you to be sweating. That’s too high.”  
“Maybe it’s the flu then.”

“You mean you didn’t get a flu shot?”  
“People our age don’t need flu shots.”  
“Where on earth – Gellert – that’s – even if that were true…” And it’s _not_ … “You don’t have a spleen. You are supposed to get inoculated for flu and for pneumonia every year.”  
“What does not having a spleen have to do with it?”  
“Your spleen is part of your immune system, Gellert. There are all sorts of infections you can get that people with spleens are unlikely to get. You’re supposed to go to the doctor the minute you have any sort of symptom like, say, a sore throat. Or a fever. Didn’t they tell you that?”  
“Gee, I don’t know. I might have actually had my mind on other things at the time, you think?”

Fuck. Albus had been so worried about Gellert that he had been nagging him, criticizing the way he took care of himself. He should have waited to talk about this until Gellert was better.  
“It is not your job to take care of me, Albus. Much less to point out that you think that I can’t take care of myself.”  
“I don’t – Gellert –“  
“If it is so important for me to know this stuff, then why didn’t you tell me earlier? Were you just waiting to swoop in and rescue me?”  
Why was Gellert shouting? Yes, Albus had fucked up, but shouting seemed excessive.  
“I just assumed you already –“

“I don’t need you taking care of me, Albus. I did fine on my own _without you_.”  
Where the fuck was Elphias? This was spiraling fast.  
“In fact, why don’t you just –“  
Elphias pulled up. “Alright. Everybody in.”  
Gellert slumped to the car. Albus quickly texted Elphias that he would not be joining them right away – would take a Lyft and meet them there – give Gellert time to cool off.  
Elphias looked at his phone, frowned, nodded, and drove away.

Why had Gellert been so angry? This was about the trauma, Albus told himself. Or about Gellert being sick and irritable. Or – something. Gellert wasn’t his best self at the moment.  
But part of him wondered if he was just making excuses for Gellert. How many excuses had his mother made before it was too late – before she was married with three children, and stuck with a dangerous criminal?  
Albus took a deep breath. Gellert was not angry enough to shoot him. He wasn't going to shoot anyone. Angry was ok. People got angry, right? Everyone got angry?  
Albus did not get angry.  
Was that the line Albus wanted to draw? That Gellert couldn't get angry? That didn't seem right...

It didn't matter what was behind Gellert's anger - whether it was the trauma, or the fever, or even a legitimate frustration with Albus' hovering… it didn’t matter why – Albus wasn’t obligated to excuse anything. He could leave whenever he wanted. It was his choice.  
But Albus wasn't obligated to run away every time he got scared, either. He didn't have to choose to walk. He could choose to stay.  
What mattered was whether Albus could tolerate it. Whether it hurt too much to push through, or if instead it was worth it to see where this could lead if they both put more work into it.  
He woke up his phone to order a car. Then he reached into his pocket - no earbuds. Crap. Now what was he going to do while he waited?  
Albus opened the photo album on his phone, and began looking at photos of Gellert, stopping on a selfie of the two of them in the arboretum. Worth it. He was worth it.

///////

Albus entered the waiting room and looked around. There was Elphias, and – Gellert leaning against him looking utterly exhausted.  
Albus suddenly felt unable to breathe.  
Please be okay.  
The closer he got to them, the slower he moved – did Gellert even want to see him?  
Elphias turned and met his eye, and gestured with his head to come over.  
Gellert lifted his head off of Elphias’ arm and stood.  
“Albus –“  
Albus rushed forward to meet Gellert, and hugged him.  
“You didn’t need to stand up for me.”

“You’re here!”  
The surprise in Gellert’s voice broke Albus’ heart.  
“Of course I’m here. I love you.”  
“Albus, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it – I’m not fine without you.”  
He released Gellert, but put his hand on his shoulder, meeting his eyes.  
“Yes, you are. It’s ok for you to be fine without me. I don’t need for you to _need_ me. But I’m here if you _want_ me to be here. I’m not going anywhere.”  
“I was scared I had – that you would -“

Albus was overwhelmed. He didn’t know how to respond, so soon after having to weigh this very question. So he moved to familiar ground – teasing Elphias.  
“Elphias, I trusted you to take care of Gellert.”  
Elphias rolled his eyes. “I told him. He wouldn’t listen to me.”

Albus turned back to Gellert and took his hand.  
“I love you, Gellert. I love you. It hurt to argue with you, but it will take more than that for me to give up on you.”  
Saying it made it somehow even more true than it had been when he made his decision pacing on the sidewalk after Elphias and Gellert had driven away without him.  
“I think I need to sit down now.”  
Albus didn’t doubt it. Gellert was looking a little wobbly. God. Please let him be ok.

But before Gellert could make it to the chair, a nurse came out and called, “Grindelwald?”  
“Or not,” Gellert said, sounding resigned.  
Albus laughed. He turned towards the bank of chairs, prepared to wait next to Elphias. But Gellert wasn’t letting go of his hand.  
“Come with me?”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Family, remember?”  
I choose you. Yes, Albus remembered.  
“Yeah, alright.”  
Hand in hand, they walked into triage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah - I'd say 'the trauma' is way on down the list of what is contributing to Gellert's anger - a list that starts with his fever, with Albus' hovering, and with the lousy relationship communication patterns he learned from his parents.


	16. Bathilda

Chapter Sixteen  
Bathilda

Bathilda let Albus in the front door. He had been by every day since she had picked Gellert up from the emergency department. She was grateful it was just mono. It could have been so much worse. Or so she knew now. No one had told her that Gellert didn’t have a spleen, much less what that meant. She had spent nearly an hour on the phone with her niece, telling her exactly what she thought about a mother who didn’t give her son the information he needed to take care of his own body. Thank God for Albus and his obsessive Googling.

“Hi, Dr. Bagshot.”  
“I think we’ve reached the point of you calling me Bathilda, Albus.”  
Albus paused. This meant something, and it seemed he knew it. She was more impressed with the boy every time she saw him. She found herself hoping that this relationship was going to beat the odds and become something permanent.  
“Ok then, Bathilda, I would like for you to come up with me to Gellert’s room this time? I have some paperwork from the school, and I think that he could use your advice.”

“What sort of advice?”  
“Well, I have paperwork for medical withdrawals, but also paperwork for incompletes. And he doesn’t have to do all of the classes the same way – he could withdraw altogether from some, with no penalty…”  
“Besides losing all the work he’s already put in.”  
“Exactly, and he could choose to take incompletes in others…”  
“And have to complete the work at the same time that he’s taking a full load of all new classes.”  
“Precisely. I was thinking that it might depend on how far along he was in each class – how much he had left to do. But there might be other considerations, and… I imagine you know about these things, and Gellert – he’s just so exhausted that his brain isn’t working as well as usual. Not that we should say so to him.”

Bathilda grimaced. Was Albus saying that for her benefit? ‘Don’t antagonize Gellert?’ And how exactly was she supposed to avoid that? Everything she said seemed to rub him the wrong way.  
“I’m not sure he will want my opinion.”  
“That’s why I’m going up too. As translator.”  
Bathilda laughed. Translator. That was a good word for it. Often, she and Gellert seemed to be speaking a different language.  
“Very well. Lead the way, Albus.”

///////

Gellert had wanted to take incompletes in everything, but after running through his syllabuses, Albus persuaded him that that was unrealistic. With Bathilda’s help (especially regarding the reputations of some of the professors), Gellert settled on three incompletes, and two withdrawals. He was unhappy about it, but Albus pointed out that he had already been a year ahead, and that he could catch up over the summer, if he wanted to.  
Bathilda stood up. “Well, I suppose that’s settled then. Good work, gentlemen.”

“Wait – Aunt Bathilda –“  
“Yes, Gellert.”  
“Thank you for your help – with the classes, but also with me being sick and – thank you for taking care of me.”  
Thank you for taking care of me. She hadn’t been expecting to hear those words, but she realized now that she had been wanting to hear them for almost two years.  
“You’re welcome, darling. I’m glad I can be here for you.”

“Umm – there’s something else – I – you might not like it.”  
“That is not the best way to sell whatever you are going to say next, Gellert. You have already put me on guard.”  
“Right. Maybe not. Umm – Albus? I think I need to talk about this with my aunt alone, ok?”  
Albus looked surprised, but to his credit, he did not look hurt. Yes, they might actually work out.  
“Sure Gellert. I’ll be in the kitchen.”  
“Make me tea?”  
Albus smiled. “Sure, I’ll make you tea. Bathilda?”  
“No, I’m fine. Thank you, Albus.”

Gellert waited until Albus had left.  
“I want Albus to move in, until I get better.”  
Absolutely not.  
“Gellert. We had a rule about no boys in your room. And I have been breaking it since you have to spend so much time in bed. But sleeping together –“  
“That’s all it would be, though. Just sleeping together. I’m too tired for anything else…”  
Bathilda had not really wanted to know about ‘anything else,’ though it was obvious that after so many months… Gellert just still seemed so young to her. She had been there when he was born.  
“The doctor won’t even let Albus kiss me.”  
Bathilda had remembered Gellert’s half-lucid complaints about that on the way home from the hospital. The doctor was less concerned about Gellert making Albus sick than he was about Albus getting Gellert sicker while his immune system was weak.

“Does Albus even want to spend the night? He is busy with final papers, and soon it will be time for him to study for exams…”  
“I haven’t asked him yet. I wanted to ask your permission first. It’s your house and – I like how the two of you have been together recently. I don’t want to go back to the tension that there was between you in the beginning.”  
Bathilda was stunned. Gellert had noticed that she was more accepting of Albus lately? He was actually giving her credit for that?

“Gellert, why do you want for Albus to sleep here? He comes by every day. It isn’t that you wouldn’t see him if he didn’t live here. Are you just wanting to take advantage of the fact that you are in a bigger bed than you have in your dorm, and in a private room?”  
Gellert blushed. “That’s it a little bit. But mostly it’s that – he’s comforting? I feel safer having him around, and being so weak right now…”  
“You still aren’t over what happened to you.”  
“Auntie, it might be a long time before I’m over what happened to me. When I wake up alone in my room at night, and I know I’m too weak to defend myself… it’s irrational, but – it’s frightening.”

Bathilda thought about this. At Gellert’s request, she had attended a couple of sessions with his therapist, to learn more about what he was going through. She wasn’t sure what to do. Did he really need this? Or was he just pushing boundaries?  
“Is it ok with you if I text Janet? To see if she thinks this is a reasonable request?”  
Gellert sighed. “Yes, ok.”  
“I’ll text her right now. She’ll be back to us in 24 hours, right? That’s what she tells us? So if she agrees that this is helpful for where you are right now in your recovery, then at most you have to go one more night without Albus.”  
Gellert smiled a small smile. Bathilda could tell that he was disappointed that he hadn’t gotten an immediate ‘yes,’ but she felt that he was lucky not to have gotten an immediate ‘no.’ She certainly would have said no just a month ago, without a second thought.

“Now. Would you like for me to go downstairs and retrieve Albus from the kitchen? I’m sure your tea is well steeped by now.”  
“I don’t even particularly like tea.”  
“I know. I imagine Albus knows too.”  
“Thanks, Aunt Bathilda. For considering it.”  
“Of course, dear. I love you. And I like Albus a great deal.”  
Bathilda walked out of Gellert’s room, and down the stairs. It was so hard to know when to treat him like a man, and when to treat him like a child.


	17. Gellert

Chapter Seventeen  
Gellert

Gellert took the brownies out of the oven, walked into the living room, and sat down with his guitar. He was so tired of writing essays. He had hoped to finish the last semester's work over break, but there was no way.  
There was a knock at the door. Gellert ignored it. Probably just UPS, or someone looking to clean the gutters. But whoever it was knocked again, so Gellert set down his guitar, walked to the door, and looked out. Albus?  
“Surprise!” Albus cried, as Gellert opened the door. "I would hug you, but -"  
Well, yes - his hands were full, obviously. It would be even stranger for him to show up with no luggage.

“Albus! Your bus isn’t supposed to be here until tomorrow after midnight – how?”  
“I found a cheap flight. I couldn’t wait any longer – and I wanted to surprise you." He kicked off his shoes, then looked around with his nose in the air. "Do I smell brownies?”  
Gellert laughed. “Yes, you smell brownies. I couldn't wait for you to come back, so I baked them early. Looks like the magic worked! Called home by the smell of brownies warm from the oven.”  
Albus dropped his bags. He hugged Gellert lightly, as if he was going to break. Gellert wanted one of Albus' 'knock you over' hugs, but he understood. They hadn't seen each other for two weeks, which meant Albus hadn't been there to see Gellert getting better.  
“Oh my God. You are the best boyfriend ever.”  
“I am your only boyfriend ever. It’s easy to be best under these conditions.”

“I missed you so much.”Albus said, kissing Gellert's forehead.  
“Me too… Before you head to the kitchen, I have another surprise for you.”  
Gellert pressed his lips to Albus’. It had been six very long weeks.  
“Gellert –“  
“I’ve been cleared for kissing. Etc.”  
“Oh?” said Albus. “Etc.?”  
“Mmmhmm,” Gellert answered, brushing his mouth lightly against Albus’, teasing him until he broke and grabbed Gellert roughly, prying his mouth open with his tongue and exploring his mouth as if it were undiscovered territory. 

As they gasped for breath, Gellert added, “We have the house to ourselves for four days. During which time, we can etc. as much as we want.”  
“Well, I definitely want you more than warm brownies.”  
“Even more than warm brownies? That may be the most romantic thing you have ever said to me.”  
“Shut up,” said Albus, kissing Gellert again, slowly, deeply. It was perfect. Gellert had missed this so much.

“God, it’s good to see you,” Gellert said, holding Albus’ face in his hands. They kissed again, more frantically this time, and while they were kissing, Albus walked Gellert to the front door, until his back was pressed up against it.  
He unbuttoned Gellert’s shirt and growled when he found a t-shirt under it. “You are making this very difficult.”  
“To be fair, I was not expecting you today.” Gellert pulled off his t-shirt. “Better?”  
Albus stood back and admired Gellert. “So much better.” He went to press himself against Gellert again, but Gellert put a hand between them and held Albus back.  
“This door? Is not all that comfortable. Anyway, I still get tired pretty quickly.”  
“Sofa?”  
“Bed. You’ve waited for weeks – you can make it two more minutes.”

///////

“Do not get brownie crumbs in the bed, Albus.”  
Albus claimed always to be hungry after sex. Gellert suspected that it was really that he could not help but combine his two favorite experiences. After all, Gellert had never seen Albus eat anything but baked goods in bed.  
“I’m not! Want one?”  
Gellert pointed to the guitar he was holding.  
“Definitely no.”  
Albus quietly ate a second brownie while Gellert began picking out a new melody.

“You are always playing guitar after sex.”  
Not always. Sometimes they were in Albus’ room.  
“And – you are always eating brownies after sex…” and cookies, and doughnuts. Cheesecake, one time.  
“No – I mean… I don’t know – I feel like you’re not paying attention to me.”  
“Hmm. Well, it is a little difficult to snuggle with you when you are sitting up and have a plate on your lap.”  
“It doesn’t have to be snuggling. It could be – something else – touching some other way, or just talking maybe… Though if we were snuggling, I might delay walking to the kitchen.”

“Albus – I love you. And if you need me to hold you for longer after sex, I can. Most of the time. But sometimes, when we are having sex, music just – pops into my head – and I have to get it out if I don’t want to lose it.”  
“So you’re not thinking about me…?”  
Gellert put down his guitar. “Albus. Do you not ever – hypernotice something in your body when I’m touching you, or when we’re rubbing up against one another? It probably happens all the time. I’m hypernoticing sound at those times. Sometimes. Not always. I am _always_ thinking of you. Especially when we’re making love, ok?”  
Gellert nudged Albus’ leg with his foot. “Put down those brownies and come here.”

Gellert lifted up his arm, so that Albus could lean against him. Then he wrapped his arm around Albus, and kissed him on the top of his head.  
“Have you been feeling this way for a long time?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“I think that it’s maybe weird to have just had sex for the first time in six weeks.”

“Maybe. Let’s not talk about it.”  
“Yeah, ok. Tell me about Christmas, then. What happened when you were away?”  
“Oh God. Well, I saw Abe. He still blames me for Ariana.”  
“Not your fault.”  
“Yeah, probably.”  
“Definitely. So, to sum up, Abe is an asshole, and doesn’t want to see you, but you saw each other anyway. How about Elphias and his family?”  
“That was better. His grandmother makes the best cookies.”  
Gellert smiled. “So I keep hearing.”  
“I brought some back – we can have some…”  
“After dinner. You, Handsome, have had a lot of brownies.”  
“Yeah, ok.”

“Anything else?”  
“Elphias’ grandmother keeps trying to set me up with Elphias’ sister, which is awkward.”  
“Oh! You’re not out to them?”  
“Elphias asked me not to. He said that they would be fine with it _if_ I were not rooming with him. And sharing a locker room with him and so on. That they would ‘get ideas’ and that it would ‘become a thing.’ So I’ve been respecting that. It’s weird though. I’m out pretty much everywhere else.”

“Hmm. You’re a good friend.”  
“He’s a good friend. I don’t want to make things difficult for him.”  
“Still. It was a big ask, and you could have responded by simply avoiding his family, or ignoring Elphias’ wishes, or telling Elphias that he was asking too much, and you didn’t do any of that, so. I just – you’re a good friend.”  
“Thanks, I guess. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing there.”  
“Me neither. How often do people know they’re doing the right thing, though?”

“Maybe. How was your Christmas?”  
“Also awkward. Mom came, and Aunt Bathilda decided to bait her by telling her I have a boyfriend.”  
“Your Mom – “  
“Is still holding out hope that I’m not really gay? Yeah. Which Aunt Bathilda knows, but she’s still angry about the whole spleen thing, so – she used my relationship with you to punish my mom. Not cool. Anyway, she didn’t really think about how it would make things difficult for me as well.”  
“Sorry.”  
“Well, it was bound to happen eventually. I shouldn’t have been keeping you a secret.”  
“You weren't 'keeping me a secret.' You’re not that close to your Mom. If you were straight, would she have known if you had a girlfriend? You’ve talked to her only twice last semester. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Still. I don’t want to feel like I’m hiding you. You’re important to me.”  
“I know... Hey, umm - sorry about the guitar thing.”  
“It’s ok. I get it. If the minute you came you rolled over and picked up a textbook or something, I’d probably have a hard time with it.”  
“Yeah, this is different though. You wait at least ninety seconds after coming.”  
Gellert squeezed Albus tighter. “Very funny.”  
“Maybe I need to start thinking of it as you writing songs about me.”  
It was true. If he heard a phrase in his head while having sex with Albus, then the whole time he was working out the song that grew out of it, he thought about Albus. And every time he played that song, he thought about Albus too. How many songs that he had written in the past few months were really songs about Albus? Way more than half. More than three-quarters, maybe.  
“That is pretty much what is happening, yeah.”

“You could do that – write music – for a living, you know?”  
“Maybe. There’s usually travel involved, and I’m not interested in that.”  
What Gellert meant was, 'Engineering requires staying in one place, and I don't want to be separated from you for weeks at a time.' Not that he was going to say that to Albus. Albus would probably say something all noble and self-sacrificial, and Gellert did not have the energy for that conversation. Not right now.  
“You could be a studio musician.”  
“I guess. Trying to get me to drop out of school?”  
“No – I – just don’t understand how you could have this thing you love so much, and not want to just do that.”  
“Well – it’s not the only thing I love. And you don’t get to serve on the Supreme Court by being a musician.”  
“Power! Mwahahaha!”

Very funny. Gellert shoved Albus off of him.  
“It’s not like that!”  
“No, I know. It is also about respect, and recognition, and having your words quoted in court cases for decades…”  
None of which were bad things to want. And anyway, if he were going to be a musician, would Albus tease him that he was hoping to become famous? Albus was just teasing, right?  
“And changing the world for the better, maybe? Do I get to call you ‘asshole’ under these conditions?”  
“Hey. Law is fine. It suits you. I just don’t want you to think that you have to, I don’t know – prove anything.”  
Maybe Gellert _did_ have to prove something. Maybe he _wanted_ to prove something.  
“Gellert, I love you.”  
Maybe so. But saying so wasn’t enough to smooth everything over.

“You’re sure? You love me all of me? You love Gellert Grindelwald, pre-law student? Not just Gellert Grindelwald, boyfriend who makes you brownies and comes to your soccer games and has sex with you under magnolia trees?”  
"It was only one time, under one magnolia tree. But since you mention it, there are five more appropriate magnolia trees on campus, and I was thinking..."  
"Five?"  
"I counted. The point is, it would be more accurate to say that once, I went down on you under a magnolia tree. But - if you want to be able to say that you 'have sex with me under magnolia trees,' then that could certainly be arranged."  
"Albus - you know that I wasn't really asking about magnolia trees."  
Albus took Gellert's hand. “I love you entirely, Gellert. But part of that is that I want you to be happy. I just – music seems to make you so happy. I haven’t gotten to see you as a lawyer yet, obviously. Maybe that will make you happy, too. If so, I’m all for it. I was just – being impatient, I guess, instead of sitting back and waiting for more data.”  
Gellert rolled his eyes. “Scientists. Honestly. Albus Dumbledore is now ‘waiting for more data.’ I love you too, Albus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course, a lot of lawyers travel too, depending on what kind of law they practice. But Gellert doesn't really have a sense of that yet.
> 
> Re: Aberforth and Ariana - The following is copied from a reply that I wrote to a comment Candyphoenix wrote on Chapter 12:  
> "There's so much in my head that didn't make it into the fic... Aberforth blames Albus for Ari's death - because Albus had been the one to want to go investigate the shouting, and Ari followed him. ('She wouldn't have even been in the room if it wasn't for you!') Of course, Aberforth was like 7? 8? And he's sort of frozen in time at that moment, so - I'm not inclined to blame him too much for this impulse to find someone to blame, but he does need to grow out of it so that they can both move on."


	18. Albus

Chapter Eighteen  
Albus

Albus unzipped Gellert’s jeans and worked his hand inside. “I want you to top this time.”  
Gellert froze. “Ooo-kay –“  
Albus looked at him with concern, took his hand out of Gellert’s jeans and placed it on his chest.  
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”  
“No – I – guess…”  
“It’s just – we’ve been talking about it, and I thought maybe –“  
They had done pretty much everything else but this. Albus hadn’t bottomed much himself, but he was willing to try it. Mainly he wanted Gellert to top at least once because he might find that he liked it, and Albus didn’t want to be – holding out on him, he guessed. It didn't seem right for Gellert to be bottoming just - by default. Albus didn't want Gellert to be doing _anything_ by default. Gellert deserved choices.

Gellert closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he opened his eyes and looked at Albus. “I do want to. I’m just – I don’t want to – I don’t know – injure you or something.”  
Albus smiled. “I’ve never injured you, have I?”  
“You know you haven’t. But you know what you are doing.”  
“You do too. You’ve just – done it from the other side of things. I won’t let you hurt me. I promise.”  
“And what if it turns out that I don’t enjoy it?”  
Albus thought that was highly unlikely. But he reminded himself that just because _he_ liked it, that didn't mean _Gellert_ would.  
“That one’s easy – then we never do it again. Or - we stop doing it, if you figure out you don't like it after we've started. You can stop - either of us can stop - at any point, ok?”  
“And you won’t, I don't know...“

“Gellert. I am never going to enjoy doing anything with you that you are not enjoying too. Reciprocity, right? If you don’t want it, I can live without it. We don’t even have to try it the first time, if you don’t want to.”  
“No, I do – I was just – not wanting to disappoint you.”  
“I want you more than I have ever wanted anything else, Gellert Grindelwald. Anything. You, as you are. The only way you could disappoint me here is if you were to disregard your own wants and needs, Ok? And I could still forgive you that - it's just - you deserve better than trying to warp yourself into what you think I want. ... Anyway, I haven’t done this enough to really know if I like it either.”  
Gellert raised a skeptical eyebrow. Now that was just offensive.  
"It is in fact possible for me to be inexperienced sometimes, Gellert."  
Gellert laughed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to imply -"  
"You did mean to imply!"  
"No, you're right. I did. That wasn't fair, probably."

Probably? Albus almost opened his mouth to argue, but decided that this half apology was good enough. Gellert's raised eyebrow wasn't anywhere near what he let Elphias get away with. And anyway, Albus wanted to get back on track - Sex! Gellert! Trying new things!  
Gellert took a deep breath. “Yeah, ok. Let's try this.”  
“Really? Yes? You're sure?"  
"Yes, I'm sure."  
"Oh God. Yes.” Albus kissed Gellert. He had meant for the kiss to be brief and gentle, but somehow he ended up pushing Gellert up against the wall, kissing him senseless, and dragging him into bed. “Is it ok that I’m so excited about this?”  
Gellert smiled. “I have no complaints.”

Gellert kissed Albus. "Honestly? I love your enthusiasm." He kissed Albus again, and as he deepened the kiss, he unbuttoned Albus' jeans. Albus grabbed his hands. “Take your time. We have all night. We can afford to build up to it.”  
“Sure. But I’d like to build up to it with our clothes off.” Gellert finished taking off the jeans, then removed Albus' socks and sucked a toe into his mouth.  
"Ahhhh... Clothes off is... ahhhh... good!”

They kissed and touched one another for a long time before Gellert reached for the lube and slowly pressed one finger in. At this point they were still in the realm of things Gellert had done before. But removing that finger, applying more lube, and pressing in two fingers… that was new.  
“Are you ok?” Gellert asked Albus.  
“Ungh – so good. Are – you ok?”  
“I think…” Gellert sucked Albus’ cock into his mouth, and then lifted up long enough to say, “Better now.”  
“Dear God. Me too."

Gellert searched with his fingers until he got a reaction –  
“Aaaa – that’s – fuck! – that’s it.”  
Gellert continued gliding his lips up and down Albus’ cock, while circling and pressing that spot inside of Albus.  
“If you keep doing that, I – aaa – I –“  
“That’s the idea,” said Gellert.  
He began alternating between massaging Albus’ prostate and scissoring his fingers.

Gellert took the base of Albus’ cock in his hand, and pressed down hard on his pubic bone as he took as much of Albus into his mouth as he could.  
“Fuuuuuck!” Albus cried out, as he came in Gellert’s mouth. “Jesus, Gellert.”  
Gellert removed his fingers slowly, and kissed Albus on the inside of his thighs, and on his hip bones, and on his belly.  
“I love you.”

Gellert handed Albus the lube. “Maybe you could – help me with this.”  
Albus smiled. “Oh, you need help, do you?”  
Albus put a generous amount of lube in his hand, and began coating Gellert’s cock with it. Then Albus started stroking him, slowly and firmly. Gellert’s head tipped back and he groaned.  
“That’s enough, Albus. I want to have something left for you.” 

Gellert picked up the lube and began applying it to Albus.  
“Still yes?” Gellert asked. Albus felt the head of Gellert’s cock pressing gently against his entrance.  
“Yes – yes, please,” said Albus.  
Gellert began to work himself in slowly, checking in with Albus a bit more often than he really needed to. It was sweet that he was so worried, but Albus wanted Gellert to relax and just let himself enjoy it. This was feeling fantastic for Albus already, and he was hoping that they would both like it well enough to do it again.

///////

The next morning, Albus woke to find Gellert mostly on top of him, as inevitably happened when they were sharing Albus’ tiny twin bed. He wanted to be a good boyfriend and let Gellert sleep, but it was just too hard to resist so much beautiful bare skin. He kissed Gellert’s neck, then sucked on his shoulder.  
Gellert opened his eyes. “Hey.”  
“Hey. I love waking up with you.”  
“Me too. Naked especially.”

Albus kissed Gellert on the lips but Gellert held his mouth tightly shut.  
“Morning breath," he explained, turning away from Albus. "I am not letting you taste me like this. I don’t even like the way I taste right now.”  
“If we had a sink in the room, you could hop up and brush your teeth without even getting dressed, and then you could come back to bed and start kissing me right away.”  
“Ye-es… And if we had a shower in the room we could shower together. And if we had a stove in the room…”  
“Exactly!”  
Albus could not have asked for a better opening.

“ _Exactly_ what?”  
Albus took a deep breath. He could do this. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and so on.  
“Soon we are going to have to make decisions about housing for next year, and – I think we should get an apartment together.”  
“Albus. We’ve not even been dating a year.”  
“But by the end of May, we will have been dating for just over a year.”  
“But we aren’t making the decision at the end of May, we are making it now.”  
“Right –“

“Albus – this is a big commitment.”  
Gellert didn’t want to commit to him for another year?  
“Yeah, I know. We sign a lease, and that means that we have to stay with each other until June of next year,” Albus said dejectedly.  
“No, Albus. You don’t – I am totally confident that I will still be with you in a year and a half. That’s not my concern. It’s – sharing a living space adds another layer to our relationship – it’s – I know that you are a great friend, a great lover, a great boyfriend… but what if we turn out not to be great roommates to one another? And then that messes up the parts of our relationship that are already great?”

“How could we not fit as roommates?”  
Loving each other meant making adjustments for each other, right? He’d made adjustments for Elphias, and they were just friends.  
“There are so many ways this could go wrong. It – different things might be important to us. Maybe you will leave your socks lying around. Maybe I will forget to put the milk away. Maybe one of us will always be the one to do the dishes and grow to resent it. There’s – it’s a big deal. And it strikes me as – dangerous is too strong a word – risky, I guess.”

Albus did not understand, and he was trying not to feel hurt by this, but it felt like Gellert was breaking up with him. Or at least, that he didn’t mean the same thing as Albus did when he said, 'I love you.'  
“Were you never planning on living with me?”  
“Oh – Albus! No – of course I imagine living with you! I – fuck, I haven’t said it yet, have I? I intend to spend the rest of my life with you. You are – God, I love you so much. I’m just – scared. I don’t know if we’re ready. There are going to be arguments. And if there are no arguments, that will be even worse, because that will mean we aren’t being honest about things.”

Oh. Well – of course they were going to argue. But that didn’t mean those arguments would be serious.  
“I think we can survive arguments about laundry and whatever. Anyway. Hypothetical arguing seems a price worth paying for guaranteed waking up with you every morning. And showering with you sometimes, and studying together… and having a bed big enough to fit the two of us without one of us getting pinned against the wall in our sleep.”

“What about Elphias?”  
“He’ll be ok. We’ve talked about it. He was thinking about getting an apartment with a couple of guys from the team.”  
“You talked about this with Elphias? Before asking me?”  
“First, I knew you would ask ‘What about Elphias?’ So this way I had an answer. But mostly – yeah, I needed his help asking you.”  
For instance, he needed Elphias to vacate the room for 24 hours.

“One day, you are going to need to learn how to function without your Cyrano, Albus.”  
“Gellert, I hate to break it to you, but Elphias is not secretly in love with you.”  
“Nor does he have an enormous nose. The analogy is not perfect. But the point stands. That mistake you made with the texts? We had been dating for a week. We’ve been together more than eight months now. You’ve got this. You don’t need Elphias’ help to not fuck up. I promise.”

And if that was true…  
“So – I’m well equipped to handle the stresses of living together?”  
Gellert rolled his eyes. “Yes, cleverly done.”  
“I really didn’t plan that – it just – came together!”  
“I know. The clever bit was finding your opening and leveraging it for all it was worth.”  
“So?”  
“So – I’m considering it. We’ll need to discuss the economics – how we are going to afford this, whether we stay on a partial meal plan with the university, etc. And I’ll need to handle Aunt Bathilda. Though I’m of age, and she’s not paying for college, so there’s little she can do.”  
‘Considering it’ was almost a yes. It was definitely not a no.  
“Well, I don’t know about Bathilda. But I have a spreadsheet for the rest…”  
“Of course you do.”

“I’ll need some details about how you are paying for college, and –“  
“Legally, Aunt Bathilda adopted me, so – I get reduced tuition. The rest is student loans, my 15 hours a week at the circulation desk, and some money my grandfather left me. Though first year is going to mostly wipe that out. But I can get you the specific figures.”  
“Ok. And we’ll need to know what the rent is for a one bedroom in walking distance to campus.”  
“Yeah, cars are too expensive.”  
“But my end is easy – my scholarship has a room, board, and living expenses stipend. I don’t have to spend it on university housing and so on.”

Gellert was looking thoughtful, and Albus waited to let him gather his thoughts. ‘Do not push him,’ Elphias had said. ‘Let him think about it.’  
“How long do we have?”  
“Before the University asks for a housing decision? Two weeks.”  
“Two weeks. If we can afford it, then yes.”  
YES!

“Yes?”  
“Yes. I’m sick of sleeping in a twin sized bed with you.”  
“It is – cramped.”  
“But mostly, I want to wake up with you every morning, too. I want to be able to have sex with you without having to work around our roommates. I want to cook dinner with you sometimes.”  
Speaking of big commitments… Gellert was not going to be cooking meat… No, still worth it.  
“I cannot cook.”  
“Scratch that – I want to teach you how to cook.”

“I want to have your stuff and my stuff in the same place,” Albus added.  
“Even if it means having my guitar by our bed?”  
“You in bed with me means your guitar in bed with me - I can live with that. Besides, this also makes it easier to borrow your clothes.”  
Gellert’s pants weren’t long enough for Albus, but his shirts…  
“That was so not part of the arrangement, Albus.”

“I especially like your Stormtrooper t-shirt,” Albus teased. If there was one thing Gellert was never going to let him borrow…  
“ _I_ like my Stormtrooper t-shirt. You can’t have it.”  
“I don’t want to _have_ it. I just want to wear it sometimes.”  
“So, I can use your favorite coffee mug, then?”  
Touche.  
“It is my _only_ mug, and it is for milk only.”

“You do see what I mean, Albus?”  
“Friendly teasing. I’m not worried. Besides, you will have daily access to my dirty t-shirts. I imagine that will keep you fairly well appeased. In time, you will realize that you want me to wear your Stormtrooper t-shirt, so that you can wear it afterwards, and smell me all day.”  
Gellert laughed and kissed Albus’ jaw. “You are ridiculous.”  
“Ridiculous gets me kisses? Because I can be even more ridiculous.”

Gellert propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at Albus.  
“God, I hope we can afford an apartment. I want every morning to be like this.”  
Yes! He really had come around. They were going to be living together next year! Albus would find a way to make it affordable. There had to be a way.  
“Me too. Except that I want it to continue through breakfast and on until we have to leave for class.”  
“You are going to want to go running some mornings.”  
“And maybe you will sleep in, and I will crawl back into bed with you.”  
“That sounds – really good.”  
“Yes?”  
“Every morning with you? Yes, Albus. It sounds perfect. The arguing - we'll see. I don't want to be deterred by maybes. You're probably right that we can handle it. As long as we keep remembering that we love each other.”  
“How could we ever forget that?"  
Gellert looked away and frowned. Sad in bed on a happy morning? Unacceptable. Albus wrapped one hand around the side of Gellert's neck, and stroked his cheek with his thumb.  
"Hey. Come back."  
"Sorry. I just - I love you so much, Albus. I never want to hurt you."

Oh. Albus worried about that too. Not that they'd stop loving one another, or 'forget' that they loved each other (whatever that meant - that didn't even make sense) but that they'd hurt one another anyway. But he was not going to think about that this morning.  
"We'll be ok."  
He didn't promise - he knew he couldn't promise. But he could say with more confidence -  
"I love you, too. Always."  
Albus tried to nudge Gellert's head down so that they could kiss each other, but Gellert dodged.   
"Morning breath? Remember?"  
Albus groaned in frustration and rolled out of bed. "Get your clothes on, so we can run down the hall and brush our teeth. I want to kiss you good morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading through to the end! I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
